


Free Falling

by writworm42



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Lesbian AU, Office Romance, Slow Burn, but make it medical, hospital au, smutty epilogue only, we stan two incredibly dumb nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-03-06 19:39:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18857752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writworm42/pseuds/writworm42
Summary: Brooke is the new manager of the pediatric inpatient unit at a rehab hospital, and loves playing by the rules. Vanessa is the OT, and has some unconventional methods. Brooke didn't expect one of them to be making her fall in love.





	1. Wanna make me go to ruhab

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song by Tom Petty.
> 
> My tongue is firmly in my cheek re: the portrayal of a children's rehab unit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke starts her first day at Charles-Visage rehab hospital, and it's not what she expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from Rehab by Amy Winehouse (the titles are only gonna get worse from here, folks, hope you're ready)
> 
> Thank you meggie for being a wonderful beta!!!
> 
> No Brookes were harmed in the making of this chapter

If there was one thing Brooke loved, it was order. It was why she loved management; give her a spreadsheet, a medical software, and a budget, and she was in Heaven, making even the most disorganized of systems into well-oiled machines. In fact, the only thing she loved more than organizing things was a challenge. And she’d risen to plenty; she’d transformed countless walk-in clinics from free-for-alls to fast-moving hubs, before moving on to outpatient services at various hospitals, revamping everything from their spending habits to their documentation, to how they courted donors with their service delivery model. 

So of course, when she was asked to take on the position of manager in the pediatric inpatient unit at Charles-Visage Rehab Hospital, she accepted without a second thought. The truth was, she had been waiting to get into inpatient for a while; the pay was better than outpatient, and the jobs were much more consistent, with greater opportunity for upward mobility. Heck, if Brooke did a good job, she was sure she could run the whole pediatric program, and then from there, who knew? It didn’t even matter that she hated kids--after she rearranged their budget to make greater room for the unit’s priorities, she was sure they’d all love her.

Yes, if there was one thing Brooke loved, one thing she was good at, it was instilling order.

Which is why when she actually arrived on the pediatric floor on her first day, she knew she had made a gigantic mistake. 

The smell hit her first; the powdery scent of latex mixed with hand sanitizer was overbearing even out in the hallway, making Brooke’s throat tighten and head spin a little, the undercurrent of soiled diapers making for no good consolation. Then there were the sounds; beeps, whirring, whooshing, and the occasional scream mixed with at least four adult voices singing Baby Shark came from all directions, crashing together in Brooke’s head, her heart speeding up as she tried to pry the sources of cacophony apart again. Meanwhile, people hustle-and-bustled around her, kids no taller than her knees nearly rolling over her feet with their wheelchairs and walkers and staff members in casual pants and running shoes looking her own skirt and pumps up and down (was that judgment on their faces?) before scurrying off to their next appointments.

“Brooke! Oh my God, hi!” Brooke walked off the elevator to be greeted by tall brunette, who instantly wrapped in her a warm, tight hug.

“Nina! It’s so good to see you!” Brooke exclaimed, all other sensations and thoughts fading from her mind as she squeezed the other woman tightly. Nina West had always been something of a mentor to Brooke; her first hospital job had been at a day treatment centre where Nina had been the recreation therapist, and even though she had left for Charles-Visage shortly after Brooke had finally gotten things sorted, her impeccable people skills and sharp eye for detail were what inspired Brooke to love management, and had taught her almost everything she knew, no matter how different their fields actually were. They’d kept in touch, and even though Nina never mentioned it, Brooke knew without a doubt that it was Nina’s glowing reference that had gotten her this job.

“I can’t believe we’re finally working together again.” Brooke smiled warmly when they separated, Nina’s own positive energy enough to make Brooke forget her nerves, forget how out of place and overwhelmed she felt. “So are you giving me the tour?”

Nina nodded. “Shall we?” she gestured towards the ward, and there was no turning back.

As far as hospital decor went, the pediatric floor at Charles-Visage was probably the most beautiful Brooke had ever seen. The walls were painted in soft pinks, blues, and purples, splashed with children’s drawings interspersed by colourful research posters. The hallway floors were laid with colourful tiles and nature-themed decals, which many of the children out in the hall for therapy were jumping on, reaching out to touch, or, in one case that made Brooke both cringe and laugh at the same time, just plain sitting to cry on while a trio of adults tried to make the kid look at a terrycloth flower.

“So our therapy rooms are used by both inpatients and outpatients, but only one of the gyms is for outpatients, that’s the last one on the right. The snoezelen room’s inpatient-only, too.” Nina guided, allowing Brooke to peek into every room before moving on. “We have a practice kitchen too, but that’s actually downstairs, we share it with the brain injury unit.

“And here we are!” Nina and Brooke rounded the corner, and stepped into the a relatively small area with about eight rooms, scattered with portable nurses stations, a lounge area consisting of two couches, a TV, and a children’s play-table, and a large central administration and nurses station. If Brooke thought the rest of the floor was busy, it had  _ nothing _ on where she was currently standing. No one even stopped to look up at Brooke as Nina continued to lead her through the unit, all absorbed in their own worlds, intensely whispering about particular cases, slapping their desktops to bring the brightness up, moving commodes, chairs, and other equipment in and out. Even in the chaos, though, Brooke couldn’t deny that everyone seemed to know exactly where they needed to be and exactly how to get there.

“It boggles the mind, right?” Nina winked, “Inpatient’s like that. Our stuff’s messy, but at the end of the day, we have it together.”

Brooke opened her mouth to reply, but before she could even take a full breath in, a sudden noise stole her attention.

Wheels, sliding across the floor, rumbling as they picked up speed.

“NO!!  _ NOOOOOOO!!!” _

Before Brooke could process exactly what was happening, she was on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE IM WORKING ON YOUR PROMPTS OKAY


	2. Sad, sad tears of a therapeutic clown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke meets Vanessa, the unit OT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Meggie for doing an amazing and thorough job beta-ing ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> As per usual, tongue is firmly in cheek!

“Shoot, I’m so sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be in the way, I’m--” There was a bit of a struggle, Brooke unable to stop the apologies instinctively flying out of her mouth as she tried to get up, limbs tangled with someone else’s body sliding under—well, under _something,_ though at that moment, she wasn’t quite sure what it was.

“Dang, you alright, Mary?” A pair of calloused hands grabbed Brooke and pulled her up, staying firmly planted on her torso until she’d had a few minutes to catch her breath, to make the world stop spinning.

“Yeah, I’m--” Brooke stopped short, the breath knocked out of her chest all over again when she turned around.

Standing opposite her, gaze heavy with concern, was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen, all long brown hair and white Chiclet teeth. She barely stood at Brooke’s shoulder-height but still somehow managed to be all she saw in that moment, twinkling eyes staring right into her own. A rainbow-coloured lanyard and employee badge dangled from the woman’s neck, and under her foot sat a long, weather-beaten scooterboard.

“Hello? You okay?” the woman repeated again, and Brooke snapped to attention, blushing as she realized that she’d been staring. She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could so much as decide whether she wanted to reassure the woman or scream at her for bringing a child-sized missile-on-wheels into such a busy hallway, a tall, thin woman wearing purple and black scrubs and a ponytail coloured to match whipped out of the room beside them and made the decision for her.

“VANJIE, I SWEAR TO GOD, I _TOLD_ YOU IF I CATCH YOU ONE MORE TIME WITH THAT THING IN MY HALLWAY--”

“I didn’t do nothin’, Ra’jah! Me an’ Kameron was racin’ for her session, wasn’t my fault she decided to veer off-course!”

“SHE’S FIVE! OF COURSE SHE VEERED OFF-COURSE!”

“WELL, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT, MARY?”

“ _WHY DIDN’T YOU GET UP AND GRAB HER?”_

“ _BECAUSE THEN I WOULD HAVE LOST THE RACE!_ ”

“Ladies, can we please--”

Both women turned to look at Brooke in surprise, clearly having forgotten she was there.

“Sorry, who you is again?” the brunette blinked, voice blunt and face blank with confusion.

“Brooke Lynn Hytes,” Brooke tried unsuccessfully to stifle a wry smile as she extended a hand, “I’m the new unit manager.”

“No shipwrecks?” The brunette whistled as she took Brooke’s hand in her own warm, calloused grip. “Dang. First day an’ I already ran your butt over. Shoot!” She let out a barking laugh loud enough to make one of the kids rolling by jump a little in their chair, and Brooke felt a blush rise inexplicably on her face.

“I’m Vanessa Mateo, the OT on this unit.” Brooke noticed at that moment that Vanessa was still holding her hand, and her blush deepened further.

Was it just Brooke, or was there a little glint in Vanessa’s eye?

“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Mateo.” Brooke cleared her throat, dropping her hand down, watching as Vanessa’s mouth curled into an unmistakable smirk. She laughed again.

“Shoot, girl, you ain’t gotta go with the formalities! You can use what all the kids an’ everyone else do, they just call me—“

“MISS VAAAAANJIEEEE!” A little girl of about five years old came sliding back towards them on her own scooterboard, practically exploding with glee and excitement as she pushed herself over, “I WON! I WON! I WON!”

“Just so you know, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Nina laughed as she led Brooke away from the scene, watching with amusement as Brooke craned her neck back to stare at Vanessa walking the line between encouraging and scolding her patient.

“Shut up.” Brooke rolled her eyes, her blush resurfacing, although she wasn’t quite sure why.

\--

Within two weeks, Brooke was absolutely sure that Vanessa Vanjie Mateo was the worst thing that ever happened to her. It wasn’t that Vanessa was bad at her job; on the contrary, the suggestion box Brooke had put up in the unit was jammed with slips of paper singing her praises. It wasn’t even that she was doing anything wrong, not really.

It was more that her methods could only be described as, well, unconventional, by which Brooke meant Vanessa broke every rule in the book so thoroughly that she might as well have just thrown it in the shredder.

It had fast become the unit’s favourite joke; every day, at least once a day, Vanessa would spring into Brooke’s office, face sunny and step bouncing as if she wasn’t just about to be lectured for half an hour.

_Vanessa, your documentation is really, really informal._

_Well, yeah, the families gotta read this stuff, too!_

_Vanessa, Laganja’s mom called, she said you called her daughter a bitch?_

_Well, it won me her respect, and stopped her from lashing out at the younger kids in cooking group! She’s sixteen, she can handle it._

_Vanessa, did you let Monet glue sponges to her AFOs on purpose?_

_What does it matter? She ain’t returnin’ them to us, and we was tryin’ to work on her fine motor skills. And I even cleared it with Yvie first, so why ain’t she in here, too?_

It was absolutely infuriating; it was a waste of her time and disrespectful to her authority; it was ridiculous to even have to humour.

It was, though she’d never admit it, Brooke’s favourite time of day. And something--maybe intuition, maybe wishful thinking, she couldn’t tell--told her it might have been Vanessa’s, too.

“You still here, too?”

Brooke whipped around, practically dropping the file she had been organizing. Her surprise faded into a wry smile, though, when she realized it was just Vanessa standing in the doorway.

“I could say the same to you.” she snorted. It was coming up on seven-thirty, and everyone except for the night nurses and rec staff had gone home. Technically, Brooke was supposed to have finished by now, too, but there was always work to be done, and paid or unpaid, Brooke was the only one who could do it.

Besides, Nina was her ride, and she didn’t finish until eight.

“I was doin’ my notes.” Vanessa shrugged, stepping inside Brooke’s office and sitting down in one of the visitor’s chairs, making herself at home like she did every time she walked in. “Anyway, I was wantin’ to talk to you.”

“Vanessa, I already told you, we don’t have the budget for a life-size Jenga set.”

“No, not that.” The easy, haphazard smile that usually graced Vanessa’s face faded, a stony expression taking its face. “It’s about Soju.”

Brooke tensed. “What about her?”

“I heard rumours you’re gonna fire her.” Vanessa stared Brooke straight in the eyes, her eyebrow cocked in a challenge. Brooke stared right back.

“So what if I am? That’s none of your business.”

“Bullshit!” Vanessa stood up suddenly, and Brooke jumped back a little despite herself. But if Vanessa noticed, she didn’t seem to care. “You ain’t got no reason for that, she ain’t done nothin’ wrong!”

“She’s just a therapeutic clown, Vanessa. Letting her go would save the unit a lot of money and trouble.” Brooke forced her voice to stay even. She was used to Vanessa arguing, but she’d never seen her get this passionate this quickly.

“What you mean, ‘trouble’?”

“Her name is _Soju_ , Vanessa. She’s named after alcohol. On a pediatric unit _._ ” Brooke rolled her eyes, turning back to her file and continuing to root through its contents. “You know, her salary could buy us twenty life-sized jenga sets.”

“Fuck that shit!” Vanessa spat, but she backed down when Brooke shot her a look, sheepishly continuing, “The little kids ain’t get the joke, and the older kids find it funny. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.”

Brooke shrugged. “That may be, but she’s still just a therapeutic clown. She doesn’t add much to the unit, does she?”

“Yes, she does!” Vanessa protested, the fire coming back in her eyes. Brooke prepared for a fight, prepared to yell back, but to her surprise, Vanessa slumped back down into her chair, sighing with exasperation, the flames extinguishing as fast as they had ignited.

“Look, Brooke. She’s part of the team, okay? And we a team for a reason. You know what she does all day? She takes care of the kids. I have three year olds who ain’t do anything in therapy ‘cause they cryin’ too hard, then I call in Soju and she makes ‘em happy enough to cooperate. An’ I have twelve year olds bummed about bein’ in the hospital instead of with their friends at school, and Soju comes in and acts a fool to make ‘em smile. I got kids who get in accidents that wind up bored in bed on a vent twenty-two/seven, thinkin’ about what got ‘em there, and Soju comes in and makes ‘em think about somethin’ else, gets ‘em happier and more open than no social worker ever could, all while givin’ them somethin’ to do other than play Uno with some bored high school volunteers. She annoying as hell, in and outta geish, but she does a lot here. A lot none of us can’t do without her.”

Brooke chewed her lip. She hadn’t realized Soju meant that much; hell, she was in her office all day under mounds of paperwork, how was she supposed to even know? And even so, seeing Vanessa’s nostrils flaring, her eyes pleading, seeing how she clenched her fists and let her voice go hoarse, letting every thought out in one breath, Brooke felt powerless to resist.

“Okay. I won’t do it. Soju’ll stay.”

Vanessa let out a sigh of relief, loud and long and shooing out every ounce of tension in the room with it. “Thank you, Brooke. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important, you know that.”

“I know.” Brooke sighed. Vanessa must have noticed something was up, because the next moment, she stood up again, going quiet as she walked over to Brooke’s desk. For a moment, Brooke thought she would go right up to her, thought she’d touch her, _hoped_ she’d touch her, maybe grab her by the hand, but Vanessa stopped short just in front of her.

“You okay, Mary?” her voice was soft, quizzical, a tone that made Brooke’s heart leap and tighten at the same time.

“Yeah, I’m just… I guess I’m realizing how isolated I am from everyone else.” She hated the words as they left her mouth, hated herself for saying them, for letting herself be this pathetic. She was better than this; she was more professional than this.

So why did one look at the woman in front of her want to make her spill her guts completely?

“Aww.” Vanessa’s face softened into a gentle smile. “Girl, don’t worry about that. You’re still new.” For a moment, Brooke thought she was going to come over and hug her. She didn’t.

“I think you just need to loosen up a little is all.” Vanessa stated matter of factly, “Have lunch with someone other than your computer, that’s a start. Wear some jeans or somethin’. And for Lord’s sake, child,” she added with a wry smile, “stop tryin’ to fire people.”

Brooke wanted to tell Vanessa to fuck off; she wanted to tell Vaness to leave her office immediately so she could focus on her work; she wanted to tell her that she knew how to do her job just fine. She wanted to tell Vanessa that if she didn’t come closer right this second and close the distance between them, Brooke might explode.

“Thanks,” she said instead. “I will.” 

Vanessa nodded and then turned to leave without a word, a smile still plastered on her face, though the tone had changed and Brooke couldn’t quite read what it meant.


	3. Dip & Shake, Rattle, 'n Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke follows Vanessa's advice to loosen up, and it's the worse thing that's ever happened to Vanessa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These titles have less and less to do with the actual content of the chapters but I couldn't stop laughing when I thought this one up. 
> 
> TW for alcohol & food in this chapter.
> 
> Thank you pinkgrapefruit for beta-ing, and holtzmanns for validating my portrayal of rounds and also reminding me what minigo is (it's a thickened yogurt marketed towards kids, a Favourite of parents and hospitals for kids who choke on everything). 
> 
> Also, for those who aren't Fluent in What Canadians Call Healthcare Things, rounds are meetings that happen weekly where the whole treatment team on a unit discusses a patient's care plan and updates each other on what they've been doing with the patient. Discharge, changes to the plans, equipment prescriptions, etc are all usually discussed at that time.

The staff room was already buzzing with people when Vanessa got in the next morning. Tuesday had always been rounds day, and every week, there was a new roster of patients, a fresh crop of gossip, and space to vent out grievances about hospital policy and lack of funding. And even though rounds had a reputation for being boring once they got down to business, Vanessa never tired of them. She loved hearing about the progress of each kid, even the ones she was only consultative with. Even more, she loved being able to share her own work, being able to gush about every kid and how far they’d come, how well they were doing. Rounds weren’t just a check-in, they were a portrait of every patient, and it was one that Vanessa could have sat and drawn and looked at forever.

Plus, every week, the dietician, A’Keria, brought snacks.

“Courtesy of 1712?” Vanessa reached over and grabbed a sticky baklava triangle from the tray in front of her as she plopped down between A’Keria and Silky, the unit pediatrician.

“You know it.” A’Keria grinned, passing over a napkin. “I swear, the kid always thinks he can get it past me-- Eight-thirty in the damn mornin’ and he done try to have his boyfriend pass him this shit in a laptop bag.”

“An’ thank God he did,” Silky assented, munching and crunching on a piece behind a wide-toothed grin. “Best thing ever happened to this unit is teenage boys tryna fight against bein’ on low-cal liquid diets.”

Vanessa snorted as she chewed her pastry, watching the rest of the team file in. Apart from herself, Silky, and A’Keria, there was Yvie, the physiotherapist; Ariel, the Speech-Language Pathologist; Kahanna, the rehab assistant; Honey, the respiratory therapist; Plastique, the unit administrator; Nina, of course; Soju, thankfully; Mercedes, the chaplain; Scarlet, the Child & Youth Care worker; Ra’jah representing all of the floor nurses; and Shuga, the unit social worker. Everyone was still chattering, despite the clock ticking past eight-thirty, and Vanessa realized with a start that they were still missing someone.

“So sorry I’m late!” Brooke rushed in suddenly, and the conversation screeched to a harsh stop.

Brooke was wearing jeans and a sweater.

_ Brooke,  _ the poster-child for skirt-suits, was wearing  _ jeans and a sweater. _

“Shall we get started?” 

Everyone snapped to reality and nodded, the air in the room returning to normal, but Vanessa couldn’t help but notice the small, barely-visible smile on Brooke’s face.

—

The rest of the meeting was a disaster, and it was all Brooke’s fault. Brooke usually took charge of every meeting, charging up to the front and diving right in, all business. Today, though, she was making jokes, explaining breathlessly why she was late, smiling in a way that had Vanessa captivated. Brooke’s teeth were shining white, one of them just slightly off-kilter from the rest of them, the little rough edge to her perfect appearance mesmerizing when she talked. And she wasn't just talking—she was asking questions, taking suggestions as to who should go first, nodding along intently to the team's comments. Then a stray hair fell into her face, and it hit Vanessa that that whole time, instead of her usual pulled-back, hairspray-laden bun, Brooke’s long blonde hair was hanging in a loose braid. 

How on  _ earth  _ could she be expected to pay attention to an update about Aquaria’s fluid intake when Brooke was brushing that stray strand back, blushing a little when she realized that her hair had started to come undone? How was Vanessa supposed to care about a discharge date when Brooke was taking neat cursive notes, a slight, precise line between her brows creasing as she frowned in concentration?

“Vanessa? Vanessa!”

Oh shit.

A discharge date.

“I, uh… I think, uh…” Vanessa blushed beet red as she tried to collect her thoughts. What kid were they on? What were their goals, again? What did Shuga say about their parents’ emotional readiness?

“What’s the status on the home mods you were prescribing?” Shuga threw her a bone, smirking knowingly. Normally, she would have been grateful, but instead, all she could think about was how acutely aware she was of how she was definitely making a fool of herself.

Needless to say, it was the longest rounds of her life. And when it was finally over, and Brooke had sauntered out to go do some paperwork, everyone else on the team was determined to make it clear they’d noticed that something was going on. 

“Okay, can anyone else believe that just happened?” Scarlet was the first to speak, a huge grin on her face.

Nina rolled her eyes. “Come on. You guys really think she doesn’t own jeans?”

“Oh, we know she did, question is, why she wearing ‘em?” Silky chimed in. 

“Mm, she ain’t half bad lookin’,” Shuga shrugged, sheepishly adding, “Maybe she got some cookies, you know what I’m saying?”

“Oh, you think she done drink some of that warm milk to calm herself down?” A’Keria smirked. Opposite her, Mercedes nearly spit out her coffee.

“How d’you know she swings that way, though?” Scarlet pondered. “She gives me pretty queer vibes.”

“Maybe she’s bi?” Plastique prompted.

“As the resident bisexual on-unit, she’s  _ definitely  _ bi.” Ariel cut in. 

“Speaking of,” she continued, a shit-eating grin spreading on her face as she turned to Vanessa, “Vanj, you seemed pretty off your game today.”

Vanessa blushed a deep red as the room fell into a bemused quiet, all eyes on her.

“I just didn’t sleep well, that’s all.” 

“Mm-hm,”  A’keria cocked an eyebrow sceptically, “‘Cause you were cravin’ them cookies too, right?”

“Watch it, hoe!” Vanessa’s defensive tone only seemed to entertain the other women more.

“Alright, alright,” Nina, always the peacekeeper, raised her hand high in the air and began counting down on her fingers, the universal symbol in pediatrics to sit the fuck down and shut the hell up. “We’ve all got work to do, so how about we focus on the kids for now?”

Vanessa smiled gratefully to Nina while the others, grumbling about their fun being ruined, thankfully took the hint and began to collect their stuff and file out. Everyone except Ariel; much to Vanessa’s chagrin, she was booked for a feeding assessment with her for the next half-hour.

At least when they were prompting kids to open and close their mouths, Ariel would have to shut hers.

She rushed out of the room quickly, hoping to avoid any further questioning on the way to her patient’s room. She’d gotten about halfway out the door when suddenly, out of nowhere, a blur appeared in front of her.

A blonde blur, hair tied loosely in a braid, wearing jeans and a sweater.

“FUDGE!” Vanessa knocked hard into Brooke, bouncing off the taller woman and careening towards the floor. But at the last second, she was caught, flooded with relief at being saved from landing on her ass.

In the next second, though, her relief curdled into embarrassment as she realized that the hands on her waist belonged to the very woman she’d just nearly mowed over for the second time in a month.

“Sorry about that.” Brooke blushed as she helped Vanessa upright, the ghost of her touch tingling on Vanessa’s waist even after she’d let go. 

“It’s fine.” Vanessa coughed. It wasn’t, not really, but what else was she going to say? ‘I don’t know what to say or do because you’re standing in front of me, and I keep embarrassing myself in front of you?’ ‘I wish you weren’t here because I don’t know how to act when you’re around?’

“Um, anyway… I need to get going. Late for an assessment.”

“Oh.” was it just Vanessa, or did Brooke sound a little disappointed? “Okay, then. See you later.”

And just like that, Brooke was gone, speeding down the hallway, Vanessa unable to ignore how good she looked walking away.

“You two have a thing for sweeping each other off of your feet, don’t you?” Ariel mused as she came up behind Vanessa, looking as pleased as a kid at Christmastime. 

“Whatever.” Vanessa rolled her eyes and set off down the hallway, not bothering to wait up. 

It was not whatever. It was really,  _ really _ not whatever. The farthest thing from whatever that Vanessa could think of. For one thing, the kid they were assessing had a thing for scooping up their yogurt and throwing it. For another, Brooke seemed to be determined to run into Vanessa that day and was always walking by the room right when she got a faceful of strawberry minigo. And then there was the unignorable question-- _ why  _ was she buzzing around the unit, anyway? Usually, Brooke stuck to her office, opting to send Plastique for any signatures, charts, or documents she needed. So why, all of a sudden, was she parading around the nursing station, chatting with the staff, writing down notes with her tongue sticking out in effort, sauntering around like she owned the place with her braid swinging behind her and her ass looking  _ so fucking good-- _

“You seem tense,” Ariel teased as they headed back to their office to document the assessment, “You know, they say petting a nice, soft pussycat can be good for that.” 

“Shut the fridge up,” Vanessa growled. Nonetheless, that night, she found herself sitting at her kitchen table with her phone and a bottle of wine, cursing herself for being such a useless lesbian and staring at the Tinder icon she’d never bothered to delete.

_ You were cravin’ those cookies, too, right? _

It was probably a good thing to get back out there. Clearly, she needed it. 

_ She gives me pretty queer vibes.  _

Brooke was her boss, even if Scarlet and Ariel’s instincts were right.

_ You two have a thing for sweeping each other off of your feet, don’t you? _

She didn’t want a shake-and-go romance, and she definitely didn’t want some nameless girl in her bed only to be gone the next morning. 

But if the only other option was to keep pining over Brooke, then maybe Vanessa was due to re-evaluate her priorities.

She took a deep breath and opened the app.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! ^_^


	4. Here's to the Ladies who Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke and Vanessa spend some time together, and realize they have more in common than they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from the song Ladies Who Lunch from Company. 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you to holtzmanns, who is a great, attentive beta and a fantastic cheerleader <3
> 
> TW for a couple of food mentions

It started out slowly. First, Silky claimed she couldn’t come down for lunch any more; too much documentation, not enough time. Vanessa didn’t think anything of it - they were turning over patients quickly lately, and were all having to do a lot of extra intakes and discharges because of it. Then A’keria stopped coming down to lunch, too;  _ I got a tip from 1712’s roommate that he orderin’ Uber Eats for lunch, I gotta intercept it before he smells a chicken nugget.  _ A little bit odd, but the kid was so persistent that it wasn’t too much of a stretch to think that these fights were happening every day. But then Yvie suddenly had to catch up on documentation too, along with Shuga, Scarlet, and Ariel, and pretty soon, everyone from the unit had disappeared from the cafeteria, leaving Vanessa alone at lunch.

Alone, that is, except for the tall, blonde woman currently striding toward her.

“Is this seat taken?” Vanessa’s heart skipped a beat when Brooke came up in front of her, holding her tray to her chest and chewing her lip like she genuinely didn’t know the answer.

“Nah, sit down.” 

Was it just her, or did Brooke seem to relax a little at the invitation?

“It’s nice to talk to you outside your office.” Vanessa teased as Brooke settled into her chair, already picking up her fork to dive into her food. Brooke shrugged, but cracked a little smile.

“I was supposed to eat with Nina and Plastique today, but they both said they actually had to go do something right after I got down here. I was going to go back up, but then I saw you, and I thought--” she cut herself off quickly, going red in the face.

Vanessa didn’t ask for the end of the thought. She didn’t want to hear it.

Far better to keep the hope that was filling the blank in her mind alive than to risk crushing it.

“So…” Vanessa played with the broccoli on her plate, searching for something to ask. It wasn’t that she didn’t have anything to say--Hell, there was  _ too _ much, too many details to search out, too much she wanted to know. It was more that every time a question popped up in her mind, an anxious thought came along with it, convincing her it was too stupid, too awkward, too random, too creepy to ask.

“So, what do you usually do during lunch?” Brooke blurted out. “Um, I mean, besides eat, obviously...” she reddened again, her eyes going wide with embarrassment. Vanessa laughed.

“Not much,” she shrugged, smiling and still giggling a little. “Usually I jus’ talk with the girls, but lately everyone’s been--”

“Busy.” Brooke nodded. “It’s weird, isn’t it?”

It absolutely wasn’t, not to anyone who’d worked with those clowns for longer than five minutes, but Vanessa said nothing, only snorted. 

“At least it’s during Prix season.” Brooke continued, spearing some food on her fork and gingerly taking a bite. “I get to watch during lunch instead of being interrupted by everyone. I thought Nina and Plastique wanted to talk about it today.” there was a flash of hurt behind her eyes suddenly, and Vanessa had to bite her tongue to keep herself from rushing to comfort her.

_ No, baby, it’s not your fault your friends are dumbasses who don’t know how to act-- _

Instead, she cocked an eyebrow and asked, “You mean Prix de Lausanne?”

It was the right question to ask; Brooke perked up immediately. “You watch?” 

“Nah.” Vanessa shook her head. “Can’t keep up with the time changes. I follow some blogs postin’ about it and shit, you know, for the action, but it ain’t gonna be the same since--”

“--Since Miko Fogarty quit ballet?”

“Yes!” Vanessa yelled, maybe a little too loud, though if she was, Brooke was too caught up in the excitement to notice. “I couldn’t believe it!”

“Me neither!” Brooke nodded enthusiastically, “I mean, props to her--I left dance for hospital management, too--but I wasn’t  _ nearly  _ as talented.”

“I guess it’s all about the meaning behind the things we engage in. Sometimes priorities shift, and the value of one occupation outweighs the other. Besides, she was on top of the damn world, probably lost its challenge for her…” 

Brooke laughed. “Even when you’re talking about dance, you sound like an occupational therapist, you know that?” 

Vanessa rolled her eyes, but giggled despite herself. “What can I say? I love my job.” 

Awkward silence settled back in for a moment, but then, Vanessa finally took a chance on starting the conversation up again.

“So…” she started, but then suddenly, she noticed how Brooke was looking at her, the expectation and hint of nerves in her eyes, and the words caught in her throat. “What kind of other things are you into?”

Brooke nearly choked on her food. 

“Oh my God, not like that! Not like that!” it was Vanessa’s turn to blush bright red, the heat on her face probably enough to fry an egg. “I meant, like…”

“Hobbies. Hobbies. Right. I know. Sorry.” Brooke took a big gulp of water. Coughing a little, she continued, “I still dance a little myself, but lately, if it’s not Lausanne, I’m watching the pageants.”

“No sheep?” Vanessa whistled.

“I know it’s not the most feminist--”

“No, that’s not what I mean!” Vanessa interjected, a smile growing on her face, “Actually, I been watching ‘em, too.”

“No way.” Brooke’s eyes sparkled with surprise and delight, a sight that made Vanessa’s heart beat three times faster.

“Yeah!” her smile continued to grow until her cheeks began to hurt. “Who you rootin’ for this year?”

They continued to talk, the minutes ticking by, until a text came through on Vanessa’s phone, the screen lighting up and illuminating the clock across the background.

“Flubber!” Vanessa cursed when she noticed the time, “It’s five to one. I got an appoi--”

“I know, I have a meeting, too.” Brooke nodded, scrambling up to collect her things. “Go!”

Vanessa began to speed off, then suddenly, something stopped her in her tracks.

“Hey, Brooke?” she spun around on her heels and called over to the blonde, who was speed-walking towards the trash like a mall-walker trying to escape from a fire, “It’s been nice talkin’ to you. Let’s do it again tomorrow?”

“Yup!” Brooke threw a thumbs up over her shoulder as she darted towards the elevator, sliding home-free into an up-going car that nearly caught her toes when the doors closed.

Vanessa’s whole body buzzed with happiness as she stood in the lobby and waited for the next elevator. Suddenly, she wasn’t in a rush; she just wanted to take her time going up to meet her patient, wanted to savour the feeling of her heart soaring as she made her way back up to the pediatric floor.

She’d had lunch with Brooke. And Brooke wanted to do it again.

She was on an exhilarated high for the rest of the day, one that not even her coworkers’ knowing smiles and excited whispers could bring her down from. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all need to Stop sending me prompts bc they're all so good and I can't say no. That being said a few of them will be ready soon!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed! <3


	5. Love in Vein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke wants Vanessa, but she's not sure the feeling is mutual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creds to pinkgrapefruit for giving me this title and for beta-ing as well!!! And also to holtzmanns for helping me get out of a rut when I was stuck (this chapter was a STRUGGLE and she helped me get through it)

It was coming up on month four of Brooke’s time at Charles-Visage, and things were going so well that Brooke could hardly believe it. Patient flow efficiency was up by 30 percent. She was a few steps away from getting a strategic plan committee off the ground. And, after some sleepless nights and a few weeks of talking with staff and families around the unit, she had discovered that if donations and revenue kept flowing at their current pace, it was very possible that they would be able to add two new beds. All she needed was the board’s buy-in, and the unit could be quite literally bigger and better than ever before.

Yes, everything was coming up Brooke Lynn. And the best part of it was that every day, at 12 noon sharp, she had a beautiful woman show up at her door and ask her to lunch. It was funny; when she first started, if someone had told her that Vanessa would wind up becoming one of the people she was closest to at work, she probably would have looked at them like their brain was spilling out of their ears. But as it turned out, she and Vanessa had a lot in common, and the more time Brooke spent with her, the more she wanted to be around her.

The only problem was, the more time Brooke spent with Vanessa, the less sure she seemed that Vanessa felt the same way about her. It wasn’t anything that Vanessa was _doing_ , necessarily, or even anything she was saying. At least, not outright, not that Brooke could prove or even coherently express, not really.

It was more that, when Brooke looked up at Vanessa sometimes, she could have sworn she saw Vanessa’s eyes sliding off of her at the last second.

It was more that sometimes when Brooke leaned too close, Vanessa would jump back, red-faced and almost in a panic.

It was that sometimes, Vanessa would space out completely when they were talking, only to blush fiercely and tell Brooke to keep going, that she really _was_ listening.

She’d heard the talk around the unit, joined in laughing at some of the jokes, even. Ariel calling herself a useless bisexual; the two moms of a patient laughing about being mistaken for sisters again, just because they needed to laugh about something; A’Keria threatening to drown 1712’s boyfriend in chocolate Ensure if she caught him trying to sneak in with mashed potatoes one more time. But then there were the ones about Vanessa, the ones that Brooke overheard but was somehow never a part of. Ones that she was almost certainly a punchline in, but never privy to laugh at.

_Girl, what you mean, cat food smells gross? First of all, ain’t nobody talkin’ to you. Second, we all been knew you like a nice little meow mix to snack on now and again. Especially if they that good Canadian recipe._

_Hey, Vanjie, you ever noticed how much braids look like ropes?_

Brooke didn’t have any proof, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was the punchline of the jokes.

The unit had her number, and they knew it. But surely, that didn’t mean that Vanessa was queer, too? No, that would be too easy, too incredibly good to be true. They were probably just joking around, probably just poking fun at how much time she and Vanessa were spending together.

She couldn’t tell if she was meant to know who they were talking about. And even if they weren’t, even if Vanessa was gay, that didn’t mean she was interested in Brooke.

Except that sometimes, Brooke swore that Vanessa lingered a little too long when they parted ways at the end of the day, almost like she didn’t want to leave. Sometimes, Brooke could swear she caught Vanessa staring at her mouth instead of her face when they talked. And sometimes, Brooke swore she felt Vanessa’s eyes on her ass when she was walking away.

But that was probably just wishful thinking on Brooke’s part.

“You know, I think you should go for it.” Nina mused one night as they walked out of the unit one evening, peeking into the allied health office and waving by to Vanjie as they went.

“There’s nothing to go for.” Brooke retorted flatly.

“Mhm.”

Brooke had to seriously resist the urge to smack the disbelieving smile off of Nina’s face. But Brooke’s skepticism wasn’t uncommon around the unit; rather, it seemed to be growing.

“Hey, Brooke! Brooke!” Brooke walked into the unit the next morning to be flagged down by Plastique, who waved her over to where the majority of the staff--except for Vanjie and Nina, she noted with suspicion--were gathered, a few of them elbowing each other and then setting to whispering busily amongst each other as Brooke approached.

“Oh, hey girl.” Yvie pretended to only just notice Brooke, her charade not even cracking when Brooke rolled her eyes, “We were just talking about Vanjie.”

Brooke tensed a little. “What about her?” She hated how interested she sounded, hated the fact that she actually _was_ interested, and a little nervous, afraid that the others would notice, afraid of what they would say.

“She’s got a date!” Mercedes chirped.

And there it was.

“Good for her.” Brooke felt like she’d been kicked in the chest, but she swallowed the pang of jealousy and hurt down, forcing herself to put on a brave face. “Who’s her date?”

“Some girl from tinder.” Plastique cut in, grinning, “I think her name is Kalorie?”

“Oh.” They could be lying; they could be trying to set her up. They could be trying to sniff something out, stir up some drama, create something to talk about.

And then Vanessa walked by, and Kahanna called to ask her if the girl’s name is Kalorie, and Vanessa… Vanessa just looked at Brooke, really looked at her for a second, the expression in her eyes unreadable, and kept walking.

“Brooke?” Shuga prodded, but Brooke wasn’t listening any more.

“Huh? Oh.” Brooke came back to focus, a pit opening in her stomach as she surveyed the expectant faces around her. But, despite herself, she smiled. “Good for her. I can’t wait to ask her more about it later!”

With that, she turned on her heels and sped down the hallway, sighing with relief when she finally shut herself in her office, collapsing at her desk.

It was over. Vanessa was going out with other girls. She was actively _in the market_ for other girls. If she had _any_ interest in Brooke at all, she would have pursued her instead, right? And okay, even if that line of thinking was probably more than a little dramatic, who knew how that date would go? If the women Vanessa dated were anything like she was, then this Kalorie would be gorgeous, positive, thoughtful, passionate, funny, creative… so many things Brooke would never be able to measure up to. And Vanessa and Kalorie would probably hit it off, then start to for real date, and pretty soon, Mercedes would be officiating their wedding in the hospital chapel.

Yep. Brooke might as well butter her dreams right then and there, because as far as she was concerned, they were definitely, absolutely toast.

She drags out some paperwork and starts moving through it, the meditative rhythm of her work soothing her and making her forget her woes. _Open, sign, flip, sign, file. Open, sign, flip, sign, file. Open, sign, flip, sign--_

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

“Hey, Mary.” Vanessa pushed through into the room, smiling, and Brooke found herself smiling back despite herself, a mellow, comforting warmth spreading through her chest.

“Hey.” Brooke chirps, cringing inside at how sunny her voice comes out. “What can I do you for?”

Vanessa looked at her like she just announced she was leaving the hospital to become a stripper.

_Jesus Christ._

“I, um… What do you need?” Brooke coughed meekly. There was a beat, but then Vanessa nodded.

“I just need your signature on some stuff.” she shoved a piece of paper towards Brooke, but then stopped, shifting on her feet a little and staring at the ground. “And also, um... I have some free time but I already finished my documentation, so I thought we could…”

“Oh, yeah, sure! I wasn’t really doing anything that needs brain power anyway.” Brooke leaned back in her chair and gestured for Vanessa to take a seat in front of her. As she expected, though, Vanessa forwent the chair to perch herself on Brooke’s desk, hovering over her with her legs crossed across the mahogany surface.

“So,” she said breezily, “What’s goin’ on with you lately?”

Brooke cocked an eyebrow. “I could say the same to you. I heard you’ve got a hot date.”

“Oh.” was it just Brooke, or did Vanessa’s face fall a little? “Yeah. That’s no biggie, honestly. Ariel kept buggin’ me to get out there, you know. But I’m not that into it, I was probably gonna cancel, anyway.”

Brooke’s heart soared, hope suddenly blooming in her chest. “Oh, really?” she tried to keep her voice cool, tried to sound like she wasn’t about to get up and dance in relief, “That’s too bad. But yeah, you should probably cancel if you’re not feeling it. Better to wait for the right person to come around than to get tied up with someone you’re not into, right?”

“Yeah.” Vanessa nodded and smiled, her voice going a little quieter, the air in the room suddenly changing, becoming soft, somehow heavy. “You’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! Hopefully chapter 6 will come out faster but we'll have to see, given how many diff projects I have going on right now haha.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!


	6. The Shitteth Hath Hitteth the Faneth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke goes to a business meeting, and Vanessa keeps her together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you Meggie for beta-ing <3
> 
> I don't know where the title is from, it's just something my friend always says hahaha

Board meetings at Charles-Visage occurred once every two months. They were usually extremely exclusive affairs; no one but the board members, the president, and other executive staff of the hospital, as well as the heads of various committees, as necessary.

Except for today. The budgetary meeting, the day Brooke had been waiting for ever since she found out about her expansion being possible. Once a year, there was a hospital-wide budgetary board meeting, one which all managers of all units and clinics were invited to. Plastique had told her all about it; during those meetings, budgets were cut, expanded, shifted, and set, each manager given a chance to present, propose, and defend their ideas and their programs. According to Plastique, though, most managers sat quietly and took what was handed to them, treating the meeting more like a debrief than a possibility.

Lucky for her unit, Brooke wasn’t most managers. In the days that led up to the meeting, she revved up her work, preparing papers, posters, an entire spreadsheet, just to convince the board about the possibility of an expansion. It was an iron-clad plan, and she had it figured out right down to the roll-out.

“Someone’s prepared,” Vanessa teased as she helped Brooke carry her charts up the stairs towards the boardroom. Brooke nodded, trying to ignore the pounding in her chest that intensified with every step as they climbed closer.

She hadn’t told Vanessa what her plans were; she didn’t want to jinx it. But Vanessa must have known she was nervous because earlier that day, instead of watching Plastique grapple with the prep materials, she offered her lunch hour to come and support Brooke.

“You don’t have to do that!” Brooke had protested.

“I know.” Vanessa only smiled, laying a hand on Brooke’s shoulder. “I want to.”

“Hey.” They reached the top of the stairs, and Vanessa grabbed Brooke’s hand, reddening a little but holding it tight. “You’re gonna do great, okay?”

“Okay.” Brooke squeezed back. They stayed like that for a moment, not looking at each other but not pulling away, a game of chicken that softened and became, somehow, something close to comfortable. Brooke could feel Vanessa’s eyes gradually come to settle on her, and she tried her best to look back, but they only locked eyes for a moment before both looking away.

Just like that, the magic was broken.

“Um. Anyway.” Vanessa coughed, dropping her hand from Brooke’s. “You should probably go, don’t wanna be late.” She turned to leave, but then stopped and turns back, this time not flinching away when she looked right into Brooke’s eyes. “Good luck, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” Brooke looked back and smiled. “Thanks.”

She carried the buzz of Vanessa’s touch with her into the meeting, the euphoria of calloused palms rubbing against her own soft ones melting all of her nerves away.

\--

In retrospect, Brooke should have expected almost everything that happened at that meeting.

It had been no surprise to her that she was, apart from the two pediatric outpatient clinic managers, the only woman in the room. She had expected the sea of balding, white men in the same gray suit staring back at her, waiting for her to look away first. She didn’t; only coolly took a seat at the table as others continued filing in.

“I assume you’re Miss Hytes?” the man next to her leaned in and asked in a bemused tone through overly-whitened teeth, not bothering to extend a hand to the pretty young thing next to him.

“ _Ms._ Brooke Lynn Hytes, yes. And you are?” Brooke extended hers instead, staring a challenge back into the man’s own appraising eyes. There was no crack in his facade as he took her hand and shook it, his smile widening.

“Gerald Warden-Robertson Fairbanks, but you can call me Gerald. Outpatient high-intensity.”

“Inpatient pediatrics,” Brooke returned, dropping neither her gaze nor her hand.

“I figured.” The man smirked back, his eyes dismissive and smile somehow even more saccharine as he dropped her hand, almost as if he was looking at a child himself. But Brooke only smiled, chewing up the dig and instantly thinking up the right way to spit it back to him.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gary.”

For a moment, Brooke thought she saw the man twitch, but before she could fully bask in it, the meeting was called to order.

It didn’t take long for things to get down to business. That was typical; everyone had places to go, things to do. There was a flurry of facts, figures, and percentages being thrown around, the ‘debrief’ more like a full-on thesis presentation. That was typical, too; there was no doubt in anyone in the industry’s mind that those who couldn’t keep up should get out. What was atypical, what began to get Brooke really worried, is what all of those numbers meant.

_Bottom line._

_Profit margin._

_Donor contributions._

_Trends in spending._

_We’ll have to make cuts._

They’d have to make cuts.

She should have expected that. That was totally typical for budget meetings, it was totally typical for healthcare in general. She should have expected that.

She hadn’t.

She knew what came next; next was a witch-hunt, a frenzy to defend one’s department and keep as much of their funding as possible. That was fine; Brooke had come expecting some kind of fight, and she was prepared.

What she hadn’t expected was for Gary to clear his throat.

“Well, Bob, realistically, looking at our profit margins and spending versus our targets, it seems like only one program needs significant cutting.”

Brooke knew what was coming. She knew what he was going to say.

“I would say we need to make major cuts to the entire pediatrics department.”

Brooke wasn’t a praying woman. There was not a single plea running through her mind at that point, only replies, only arguments, only facts and figures and which of her charts would be most useful.

Then, grace.

“I appreciate the suggestion, Gerald, but it’s not something we can make a snap decision about. We’ll get back to you all by the time of the quarterly report, but until then, just… Try to keep these issues in mind.”

She should have expected Gary to sneer at her, to say something as he walked past out of the boardroom. She hadn’t.

“See you at the quarterly, if you’re still here.”

The words rang in her mind all the way back to her office.

\--

Brooke could fix it. She knew she could fix it. Hell, she’d fixed worse before.

The difference was, those times, her head didn’t spin when she sat back down in her chair. Those times, she felt confident in where to start and where to go. Those times, it was about the unit and the system.

This time, it was different. This time, it was about Honey and her daughters needing the income. This time, it was about Kahanna taking care of her aging mother. It was about Yvie paying her own medical bills. Even more than that, this time, was about every kid in their care. It was about buying sponges for Monet to play with during her sessions so that she was motivated, how desperate Kameron was to get back to kindergarten and show everyone how her surgery had changed the way she walked. It was about every single parent who lived at their child’s bedside, overpriced cafeteria food siphoning their income while they slept on the foldout armchair next to their child’s steadily whirring morphine drip. It was about all the complex care kid on the waitlist for a facility ready to take them, the kids who would have nowhere else to go.

And, as selfish as it made her, there was a part of Brooke’s heart that knew that it was for Vanessa, too.

She couldn’t let her unit get hurt. She had to save it. Save _everyone_.

So she did what she did best; she got to work.

Over the next week, Brooke was almost never outside of her office. She took the bus to come in an hour early, and forewent her rides home with Nina to stay even later. She slid in at the last minute for rounds, and was one of the first people out of the room. At first, people were concerned; Plastique asked if she needed more help, others brought her coffee and tea just to make sure she was alive. She rarely accepted more than the minimum, and soon, everyone stopped coming by.

Everyone, that is, except for Vanessa. For the entire week, Vanessa stopped by faithfully, lunchbox in hand, to ask Brooke if she was ready to go for lunch. It broke Brooke’s heart to have to say no, to watch the other woman’s face fall as she told her she had too much work. But it had to be done—even if she couldn’t tell anyone why, not yet, it had to be done.

Still, Vanessa never seemed to get the hint.

“Brooke?” By day eight of their new routine, Vanessa was no longer smiling when she knocked on Brooke’s door. Brooke swallowed hard.

“Hi, Vanjie.” Brooke forced a smile for the both of them, trying not to pay attention to the caution in Vanessa’s eyes, how she’d stopped bothering to step into the door, instead leaning against its frame.

Brooke was ready to tell her to go ahead without her, that she had too much work to do, but before she had a chance to, Vanessa caught her by surprise.

“Did I piss you off or somethin’?”

“No!” Brooke looked up at her, stricken. “It’s not that at all, I really do have w--”

“You always got work.” Vanessa narrowed her eyes, stepping inside the office with her arms crossed, “This is different and you know it. You been distant from everyone, an’ you used to let me sit with you even when you couldn’t come down to the caf. This past week all of a sudden, you don’t even wanna look at me?”

“‘Ness, I--”

“Don’t ‘Ness’ me!” Vanessa’s voice was tense, and Brooke could tell that another word from her and her dirty laundry would be aired at a volume the entire unit would hear. “What is going _on?_ ”

“Close the door,” Brooke was quiet, her chest suddenly tight and weighed down by a guilt she had been trying her best not to feel. “And sit down.”

There was a pause, Vanessa’s eyes flitting around nervously, but she nodded and did as Brooke asked, once again taking her place on top of Brooke’s desk. It was a familiar, comforting gesture, one that made Brooke relax a little despite herself. For a split second, a flash of doubt ran through Brooke’s mind, anxiously wondering if what she was about to do, what she was about to say, was going to backfire, whether it was truly going in the right hands.

But then she looked at Vanessa, saw the earnest concern in her face, and suddenly, she was sure.

“At the board meeting last week, there was talk of cuts. A _lot_ of cuts. Like… potentially lose-the-unit cuts.” Brooke surveyed Vanessa’s face, and felt her heart fall with Vanessa’s expression. It wasn’t one of fear, necessarily--though Brooke could tell in the quiver of the shorter woman’s lip that that was present, too. It was more a look of defeat and sadness, of hopelessness.

That was what Brooke had been afraid of. And it was exactly what she was hoping to avoid.

“I’m-- Look, the reason I’m working so hard is because I’m going to fix it, okay?” she added, staving off her own hopelessness, pushing it back down from where it was starting to cut up her stomach. “I’m just figuring out how right now. I think--I think I’ve figured out a way, I’ve just got to--”

“Stop.”

Brooke took in a sharp breath as Vanessa darted out a hand to lay on hers, the sticky feeling of still-drying hand sanitizer soft yet still somehow heavy against her skin.

She looked up, and for once, Vanessa held her gaze.

“We’ve faced cuts before, okay? And we’ve been fine.” Vanessa’s words were careful, calm, as if she was waiting for each syllable to sink in before moving on to the next. “You’re working hard, and I know you can do this. Hell,” she added with a wry smile, “we’ve survived this with way worse managers than your type A patootie.”

Brooke smiled weakly, and Vanessa tightened her grip on her hand.

“You don’t have to figure this out alone, okay? We can all help.”

Brooke shook her head. “I don’t want help right now. I don’t--I don’t want anyone to panic, and I don’t want rumours to start going around, especially not to families. You know how the grapevine grows around here.”

“Okay.” Vanessa nodded, her face somber, and somehow, Brooke felt reassured. That reassurance stops dead in her chest, though, when Vanessa opens her mouth again, a stern, scolding finger coming up and pointing at Brooke.

“Just promise me you’ll take lunch breaks, okay? We don’t need you burnin’ out, that ain’t gonna help no one.”

Brooke nods, smiling despite herself. “Okay.”

“So, we gonna get to the caf, or what?” Vanessa returns the smile widely, radiantly, like Brooke’s just made her day. And for a moment, Brooke lets herself entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe, she has.

“Okay,” she repeats, standing up and giving her back and arms a big stretch. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! An update to A Place Where We Can Feel Good is coming soon, I promise!!


	7. Buffoonery, Riggory, and Straight-Up Tomfoolery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Brooke and Vanjie are dumb nerds and the slow burn finally ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you holtzmanns for always being a champ and keeping this brain cell going, as well as being my beta ❤️
> 
> I had a lot of fun with this chapter and I hope you guys do too!!!

The holidays were always a big deal at Charles-Visage. There was Halloween, when the kids all dressed up in donated Halloween costumes and visited the lounges in the adult inpatient units in supervised groups to go ‘trick-or-treating.’ The winter holidays were always wonderful too, the holiday-themed rec shows and staff parties at every turn putting everyone in a great mood. Thanksgiving always brought fun crafts and the most scrumptious recipes in cooking group, and Mother’s and Father’s Day filled the unit with faux flowers that gave everything a little extra pop of colour.

But this year, the holiday that Vanessa was looking forward to the most was Valentine’s Day. As cliche as it was, Vanessa loved seeing the unit done up in red and pink crepe paper, loved how the volunteers would go from room to room dropping handmade “valentines” filled with encouraging messages and doodles of flowers and Cupids at each of the children’s bedsides. She loved how a big bowl of heart-shaped chocolates would appear at the nurse’s station, the supply quickly dwindling as A’Keria spent a suspicious amount time “documenting” with Ra’jah. She loved asking her kids if they had someone special for Valentine’s, loved watching them wrinkle their noses and squeal as she teased them. Most of all, though, she loved that this year, she  _ actually _ had someone special for Valentine’s, even if that someone didn’t know it yet. 

Although lately, Vanessa was starting to think that Brooke might.

Ever since the business meeting, they’d been starting to spend even more time together. Vanessa would bring Brooke coffees mid-day, check in with her and ask how she was doing, and Brooke would return the favour with a smile and a conversation about how Vanessa’s day had gone at the end of her shift. Brooke invited Vanessa to stay late while she worked, and they would spend the hours chatting while Brooke typed, barely losing concentration as she calculated figures while presenting a well-thought-out argument as to why  _ Dirty Computer  _ deserved the Grammy more than _ Sweetener.  _ And all that time was paying off--slowly but surely, Brooke opened up to Vanessa more. Slowly but surely, she let Vanessa help, let her try stapling files and spread the word about the family focus groups that Brooke was holding. Slowly but surely, Brooke’s conversation about how Vanessa was doing became less business-like and less casual, and more like Brooke was actually trying to absorb and learn what occupational therapy was like, how it felt to be Vanessa doing it. Slowly but surely, Brooke was opening up a little more, dropping information and feelings bit by bit.

Brooke was from Toronto, and she missed her family dearly, a fact that she showed even more than she said in how she spoke about them with a soft fondness that most people didn’t know she had. She had grown up very religious, but didn’t like describing herself as Christian any more (when Vanessa asked why, an uncomfortable look passed over Brooke’s face, and Vanessa had enough sense not to press the issue). She described herself as a lover-not-a-fighter, but had a more fierce temper than she let on, a passionate fire that he came out in rants and raves exclusively for Vanessa’s ears behind closed doors. She loved cats and had two of her own, and thought that Vanessa should come over some time to meet them.

The invitation stuck in Vanessa’s mind as she walked into the unit on February 14th, finally coming around to the idea that maybe, just maybe, Brooke felt the same way as she did. 

Vanessa was so caught up thinking about the ways she could work Brooke’s cats into a conversation, how she could wriggle her way into confirming that Brooke’s invitation was real and that it meant what she hoped it did, that she hardly noticed the commotion in the allied health office.

“Put it on her desk.”

“ _ Where _ on her desk? I can’t just--”

“Bird, yes you can! Just put it--dude, don’t put it face down, she needs to be able to read it!”

“Whatever, can you just hurry? She’ll be here-- _ Heyyyy, Vanessa!”  _ Ariel perked up when she saw Vanessa standing in the doorway, arms folded and eyebrow raised.

“What are you two clowns doing at my desk?” Vanessa looked Yvie and Ariel over with suspicion, the two of them looking like a pair of deer in headlights as they looked from each other to Vanessa’s desk to a piece of flashy red construction paper in Yvie’s hands.

Flashy red construction paper?   


“Is that a Valentine?” Vanessa’s suspicion melted into pleasant surprise at the fact that her friends would take the time to make something for her, put so much thought in it as to fuss over where to leave it for her to find.

“Oh, yeah!” Yvie nodded seriously, “Brooke made it. She had a meeting, so she wanted us to leave it on your desk. She said that she’ll see you at lunch!”

Vanessa’s own heart stopped as Yvie pushed the handcut red heart into her hands, brushing past her with Ariel following closely behind, muttering some excuse about an SLP-PT joint session. Never mind the fact that speech and physiotherapy joint sessions rarely occurred, that those two were clearly up to something--she was holding a Valentine, a handmade Valentine, from Brooke Lynn Hytes. She traced the jagged, wobbling edges of the card as she flipped it over and brought it closer to her face to read.

_ Roses are red, violets are blue, tonight if you’re free, can I go out with you? _

Vanessa snorted. It was a cheesy attempt at flirtation if ever she saw one, but knowing Brooke, she had no trouble imagining the blonde sitting at her desk deciding to go with an ironic rhyme after fretting over what to say for a good fifteen minutes. It wasn’t important, anyway--what mattered was, Brooke had written it, she had given it to Vanessa, she had asked her out.  _ Brooke had asked her out.  _

When her heart started beating again, it was soaring, pounding hard in Vanessa’s chest as she gave the Valentine a quick little kiss and put it down on her desk.

She was so busy thinking about what she would say to Brooke, what activity she would suggest, heck, what she would  _ wear _ , that she hardly noticed the knock at the office door.

“Brooke!” Vanessa gave a little jump when she turned around, only to come face to face with the blushing, grinning woman. “You’re not in--”

“I couldn’t wait.” Brooke shook her head, her blush deepening. “I had to come see you to say--”

“Thank you.” Vanessa blurted out. Brooke looked a little surprised for a second, then nodded.

“So I guess you picked up on everything?” Brooke laughed nervously, and Vanessa nodded, laughing too.

“Were you serious, though? Like no jokes?” 

“Of course!” Brooke protested, “And I really want to go out tonight.”

Vanessa felt like screaming. She felt like jumping up and down, like grabbing Brooke and kissing her right then and there.

Instead, she smiled.

“How about right after work? You can make an exception for once. I know a great place we can go for dinner.” 

“Yeah!” Brooke nodded enthusiastically before realising how eagerly she had answered, covering her embarrassment in a cough and dropping her voice as she repeated, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“I’d like that too.” Vanessa smiled warmly. “See you at five?”

Brooke nodded. “See you at five.”

\--

Around the corner, Nina reached over and punched Silky in the arm. 

“Told you it would work.”

Silky rolled her eyes, but said nothing as the other women started giggling and whispering among themselves, craning their necks and stumbling over each other as they fought to see the scene unfolding in front of them.

“What did you even write in their cards?” Mercedes asked. “I saw Vanessa’s, but I didn’t see Brooke’s.”

“Oh, that one was easy.” Nina laughed. She took on Vanessa’s characteristically raspy voice and recited, “ _ You make my heart pop an’ lock. Can I take you out tonight?” _

It was all anybody could do not to start howling with laughter.

Then Brooke and Vanessa came out of the doorway of the allied health office and started walking down the hallway, their hands interlocked and eyes downcast shyly, and everyone scattered, squealing excitedly about what geniuses they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirty Computer was the best album of 2018 and way underrated, fight me.


	8. Bring the Bitter Taste to a Halt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter: the shenanigans work and Brooke and Vanessa finally get together!
> 
> This chapter: Brooke and Vanessa go on their first date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you holtzmanns for betaing and cheering me on ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> Title from Sweetener by Ariana Grande

The Royale Diner was by no means the most romantic place in the city. Heck, it probably wasn’t the most romantic place in the  _ intersection,  _ not since that couple had gotten married in the McDonalds across the street last month. But if you asked Vanessa, it had the best comfort food in the world - and there was no better first date to her than sharing soul food with someone that very well could be her soulmate. And that night, when Vanessa caught a glimpse at Brooke’s face as she led her through the plexiglass doors, Vanessa knew that she had made the right choice.

It wasn’t every woman she took out who stared at the diner’s decor in awe before they were even through the plexiglass doors, mesmerized by their reflections the classic checkerboard floors and the glossy red finishes on the vinyl booth couches. It wasn’t every woman whose face lit up in admiration when the waitress came by and offered Vanessa her favourite table and a coffee on the house before they’d even finished saying hello. And it wasn’t every woman who ordered banana pancakes with such enthusiasm she almost broke the table when she slammed the menu shut determinately, blushing deeply when the waitress joked that she’d always known Vanessa liked women who knew what they wanted.

Nor was it every woman who stole pretty much all the fried chicken off of Vanessa’s plate without so much as a sheepish apology, but hey, it wasn’t every woman from whom Vanessa would allow it. 

Vanessa wasn’t sure she could put her finger on it, but there was something different about their conversation as they ate. The topics were pretty much the same—their families, different dance competitions, how frustrating anti-vaxx campaigners were—but their tone was lighter, more cheerful, full of giggles and bashful pauses and looks stolen when they thought the other wasn’t looking. It was nice; for once, Vanessa didn’t have to wonder if Brooke’s lingering gaze was because she’d done something wrong, and there was no need for her own heart to quicken with anxiety every time Brooke caught her staring. For once, Vanessa didn’t feel pressure to draw out their contact for as long as possible, afraid to let the other woman go. 

“You know, I’m really glad you’re gettin’ to know the kids.” Vanessa took advantage of a lull in conversation, thinking back to the card Brooke had given her. There was no way, thinking about it now, that Brooke had cut it herself, despite the cursive message scrawled there. Really, the jagged lines and safety scissor-crushed edges seemed much more characteristic of Monet, so much so that Vanessa wondered if Brooke had helped her make it. After all, Brooke  _ had  _ been spending more time with the families, trying to discern what they liked and didn’t like, what she could cut or move around or bring to the board to prove the unit was doing well. And Monet was exactly the kind of personality Brooke would love, confident and clever and eclectic, never anyone but herself. 

In fact, in Vanessa’s opinion, Brooke probably needed to be around kids like Monet more often, to realize that she could be all those ways, too.

“Yeah, the focus groups have been going really well.” Brooke nodded enthusiastically. “I’m learning a lot.”

“I’m glad, but that’s not what I mean.” Vanessa chuckled, “I mean the rec programs--it’s really cool you sat in with Monet to help her cut the card you gave me.”

Brooke’s fork froze halfway to her mouth.

“Card?” her mouth dropped open mid-chew in disbelief, “I didn’t give you a card.”

“Well, your Valentine,” Vanessa rolled her eyes, “But it’s the same thing, really.”

“No, I--Vanessa, I didn’t get you a Valentine.” Brooke frowned. Realizing the implication of what she’d said, she looked back up at Vanessa in a panic, words tumbling from her mouth as she added, “That’s not to say I don’t like you! I like you so much, like,  _ like _ you, that’s why I wanted to take you up on your offer of your date! I swear, I was so happy, it’s just that I didn’t think you’d be okay if I made the first--”

“Whoa, hold on, Mary!” Vanessa waved a hand to catch Brooke’s attention, confusion the only thing suppressing the laugh bubbling inside her throat. “What you mean, my offer of a date? You came to  _ me _ .”

“But… Your card. The Valentine on my desk.” Brooke blinked, staring blankly at the woman across from her.

“Mama, there was no Valentine.” Vanessa shook her head.

There was a beat, the wheels turning in both of their heads, before the cogs finally clicked together. 

“Oh my God, I’m gonna kill Nina.” Brooke laughed loudly, Vanessa unable to resist joining in. 

“Well, I mean, all that shit they was tryin’ to pull finally worked, I guess.” Vanessa grinned, her heart swelling at the beaming smile that was still radiating off of Brooke, the blonde’s shoulders shaking with little chuckles as she tried and failed to calm down.

“I swear to God, it’s like elementary school again.” Brooke shook her head as the two finally settled, and Vanessa gave a little laugh, unable to do anything but agreed.

Those girls were all fucking nightmares, but God bless them for helping her experience such a wonderful dream as the woman sitting across from her, sipping her coffee over a wry, yet still giddy smile. 

Unfortunately, dreams never did last, and so once the humour of the situation finally dissipated, the two were left in silence, the mention of the hospital and all it implied falling heavy over the air in the booth.

“Quarter’s coming up.” Vanessa prompted quietly.

“Yeah.” Brooke nodded, causing a twinge of remorse to sear through Vanessa’s chest when she noticed how suddenly the colour seemed to drain from the other woman’s face at the comment.

“You’re gonna be okay.” Vanessa reached across the table and gave Brooke’s hand a squeeze.

“Yeah.” Brooke’s face faltered briefly, her voice hollow, and Vanessa felt her heart crush. Their plates were empty now, and if Vanessa knew anything about Brooke, it was that the minute they left the restaurant, she’d be back en route into the hospital to try and do more work. She couldn’t let that happen; things couldn’t end that way. Not tonight.

Brooke deserved so much more than that.

“You wanna go see a movie?” the idea popped into Vanessa’s head at random, but she let it come out without hesitation; there was no time to think of another one, and anyway, there was a movie theatre not far from the diner that plays old family movies, and there was bound to be a romantic one playing for Valentine’s day. 

“Yeah.” Brooke nodded, a reassured and grateful smile spreading across her face, and Vanessa breathed out a little, knowing she’d made the right choice. 

—

As it turned out, there were no romantic movies playing at the Black Hole Cinema Club that night. Apparently the owner had just broken up with her girlfriend, meaning that the only movie playing was one chosen at random from the theatre’s Family Fun Night archives. As a result, less than thirty minutes later, Brooke and Vanessa sat munching on a large bag of popcorn as the opening credits of  _ Daddy Daycare  _ began to roll. Vanessa had never minded the movie; it was cute, and had some genuinely funny scenes. This time, though, she watched with a growing interest.

The second half of the movie involved the threat of cuts. The threat was responded to with a fundraiser, one that worked even better than needed for the daycare to succeed. A happy ending for all except the asshole trying to take the daycare down.

It was just a movie; real life didn’t work like that. But still, even after the movie had ended, the fundraiser scenes stuck in Vanessa’s mind.

It was crazy. It was foolish. It probably wouldn’t work.

But it also might, and for the unit, for  _ Brooke _ , Vanessa was willing to take that chance.

The only snag in the plan was Brooke herself. After an hour or so of scheming and scribbling out plans on paper, exchanging texts with Silky, A’Keria, and the others, she realized with a jolt that she had never actually brought up the plan with Brooke, who was arguably the most important player in the whole operation. No, she had to get clearance first--it was only right, after all of Brooke’s hard work. She was about to pick up her phone and call the other woman, when suddenly, a thought froze her finger before she could dial.

If Vanessa’s plan did get put into action, it would take a tremendous amount of work, work that Brooke would no doubt try to take on almost entirely by herself. Vanessa could all too easily imagine Brooke losing entire nights of sleep applying for permits, calling vendors, and climbing into bed at 2 AM only to stay awake the rest of the night worrying.

The plan might keep the unit afloat, but Vanessa just couldn’t bring herself to drown Brooke in the process.

She put down the phone and continued planning, deciding that she would tell Brooke once things were more firmly in place.

\--

If there’s one thing that Vanessa learned from her years as an occupational therapist, it was that whenever you’re getting ready to do something, you need to hope for the best but plan for the worst.

In this case, the worst came crashing through during rounds the next morning, and it was definitely something Vanessa hadn’t prepared for.

Everything started out normal; as planned, Vanessa told everyone to meet her a half-hour early for rounds so that they could talk fundraising. As planned, everyone showed up ready to get to work.

Unfortunately, what she hadn’t planned was for Brooke to see everyone going the same way into the meeting room, chattering excitedly. What she hadn’t planned was for Brooke to wonder what was going on, for the blonde to let herself think that maybe people were still talking about the date from yesterday. What she hadn’t planned was for Brooke to be in such a good mood that she thought she’d follow everyone in, catching them right in the middle of planning.

What she hadn’t planned was for Nina to have too much integrity to lie when Brooke asked what was going on.

And she certainly, definitely hadn’t planned for Brooke to be incredibly mad.

Vanessa had been on the receiving end of Brooke’s workplace-appropriate anger to know that when Brooke was upset, she didn’t yell or rage. Instead, she stood up even taller, let her smile fall flat, and made her voice go quietly, terrifyingly formal.

“Vanessa, may I please see you outside?” Brooke’s voice was quiet, but her gaze was pointed at Vanessa with a fire that Vanessa didn’t think she’d ever seen, one that made her shut up and follow Brooke out into the hallway without another word.

“Is this some kind of a joke to you?” The door had barely closed before Brooke turned on Vanessa, her rage now finally starting to spill out as she hissed, “I told you not to tell anyone!” 

“It’s alright, though, they don’t blame you--”

“Shut up.” Brooke snapped, pure vitriol coating her voice. Vanessa blinked, the words taking a few moments to process before setting her crumbling.

Brooke had  _ never _ spoken to her like that before. Even when she’d talked back, even when she’d been a bit of a jerk, Brooke had always been patient, at most putting up a hand and telling her to let her finish. 

“You broke my trust.” Brooke continued, “I told you not to tell anyone, and you broke my trust. I told you I didn’t want people to worry, it was my business anyway--”

“Whoa whoa, slow down, Mary!” Vanessa snapped to, the comment bringing her back to her usual stubborn attention. “This ain’t just ‘your business’ here. Everyone could lose their job. You ain’t even care, you was gonna fire half of us a few months ago anyway--”

Now it was Brooke’s turn to be taken aback. “Fire… Oh, for God’s sake, Vanessa! That was different, and I wouldn’t even think of it now!” 

“Well, if you’d just listen, you’d know that--”

“Hey, guys?” both of them stopped talking when Nina poked her head out of the meeting room, a worried frown on her face. “Listen, we couldn’t help but overhear, and we just wanted to let you know, Brooke, Vanjie only came to us because she had this idea for a fundraiser--”

“Go back inside, Nina.” Brooke put her face in her hands, her voice finally evening out. The calm was short-lived, though; once Nina had retreated back into the meeting room, Brooke turned back to Vanessa with a renewed fire, one that was even more intense than before.

“Brooke, listen--”

“No, Vanessa.” Brooke shook her head. “God, you’re really something else, you know that? Not only do you tell everyone something I told you not to, but you decide it’s perfectly fine to just undermine all my hard work--”

_ Her _ hard work?

Oh, no. Absolutely not. 

“Now, listen, bitc--coin. Bitcoin. Listen. You ain’t the only one workin’ hard. Don’t you come up here actin’ like you ain’t the only one scared or the only one who cares! I ain’t do nothing but try to help, the least you could say is thank you!”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Brooke gave a hollow laugh. “It’s not about the fundraiser, or about how this feels. It’s about the fact that I trusted you, Vanessa. And I shouldn’t have.”

Vanessa said nothing; deep down, she knew she should, but she couldn’t. Not just then, when she was this angry.

Besides, she didn’t really have the chance--a second had barely passed before Brooke was walking away.


	9. Come to your Senses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, Brooke and Vanessa go on their first date. Vanessa thinks a fundraiser might save the unit, but it blows up in her face when she tells everyone but Brooke about her plan.
> 
> This chapter, thanks to some good old fashion hijinks, Brooke and Vanessa finally make up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to holtzmanns, who always pushes me to be a better writer with her honest feedback and direction. Y'all would've had a significantly shorter, far less emotional, and frankly not nearly as good chapter without her telling me where to add things and helping me figure out how to express all of the feelings I was struggling to bring out. 
> 
> For those of y'all who aren't familiar with it, Snoezelen is a kind of sensory therapy meant to provide calming, gentle sensory stimulation. Many hospitals, especially if they're pediatric, have Snoezelen rooms, which are filled with gentle lighting, projected images of things like stars, things to touch and lie on/in/under, and gentle sounds. It's kind of the absolute best thing ever invented.

In the days that followed their fight, it was as if the unit had fallen to pieces around Brooke. She knew it was partially her fault - she’d stopped checking how things were going, instead taking to seething in her office - but if anyone thought that she was going to try to smooth things over, she was wrong. She hadn’t gotten this far in her career by apologizing for things she still wasn’t convinced she had done wrong. Sure, she could try and be the bigger person and continue on with business as usual - but then Vanessa would walk by her office, and a flash of anger would suddenly slash at her chest as the memories of their fight came flooding back.

Vanessa, for her part, was in no better condition, according to Nina. Not that Brooke cared. Let the bitch suffer; she was at fault, after all.

Except that Brooke couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt whenever Vanessa walked by and slid her eyes down. She couldn’t help but notice how her heart sank when Vanessa’s voice fell flat at rounds, her updates far too clipped and short compared to her usual enthusiastic and detailed briefs to ignore. 

She couldn’t help but feel that even though she was too proud to apologize, that it was all that she wanted to do.

There were parts of her that wondered if Vanessa felt the same way. Did Vanessa cringe inwardly whenever she saw Brooke walking down the hallway? Did she feel the same tug of regret every time they had to talk and couldn’t make eye contact? Was she as distracted as Brooke was during the day, unable to focus on her sessions because her mind was filled with replays of their fight, searching for moments that she could blame on Brooke to pretend like she’d done nothing wrong herself?

Was she still mad?

Brooke tried to swallow the twinge of panic that rose up in her chest every time that she thought about how Vanessa must feel about her now. 

It was better not to think about it, anyway.

Meanwhile, the unit as a whole had begun to suffer, choking under the weight of the feud that was brewing around it. When people weren’t trying to avoid bringing up Vanessa around Brooke, lest she get cranky, they were pretending to listen to Vanessa rant, trading silent  _ help me  _ glances as they humoured their coworker with half-hearted agreements.

The biggest effect, though, was on the kids.

“Miss Brooke, why are you and Miss Vanjie fighting?” Kameron asked her on the way to her office.

“Grown-up stuff, Kam.” Brooke smiled back weakly as she ducked through the door and almost slammed it behind her.

At least in there, she was safe from having to see how she was letting everyone down.

No. _She_ wasn’t. Vanessa was. By not apologizing or realizing how pigheaded she was, Vanessa was the one that was drawing this all out. If anyone was to blame, it was her. Not Brooke. Never Brooke.

She wasn’t convinced of the arguments that she was running through her mind, not entirely, but it didn’t matter. As long as she was in her office, no one would be around to see the way that her shoulders slumped and how her throat seemed to squeeze shut.

Meanwhile, the day of the quarter snuck closer and closer, Brooke’s awareness of the day became more and more acute as she considered her options. The truth was, aside from feeding Gary and the entire board to sharks, Brooke didn’t see that many left in front of her any more.

They were doing well.  _ Really  _ well, financially. 

But the hospital didn’t want  _ really well _ . The hospital wanted  _ national news headline, rename-the-hospital well _ . The kind of well that a bunch of families with standard insurance and no groundbreaking research projects just couldn’t bring to the hospital.

Brooke had been around long enough to know that even the units that were doing the best otherwise were still on the chopping block, when they were up against donor-bribery giants like high intensity outpatient rehab that had patients with endless insurance funds and borderline celebrity status.

Unless there was a miracle in the wings that was waiting to happen, it was looking more and more as if the best hope for the unit was that the service delivery would only change to a moderately drastic degree. 

Of course, there was one option Brooke hadn’t tried yet (she couldn’t). One that was sappy, appealing, and crazy enough that it just might work (she  _ wouldn’t _ ).

God, she really needed to clear her head.

“Why don’t you go to the snoezelen room for a bit?” Nina suggested when Brooke wound up in her office a moment later, the blonde’s gaze pointed up at the flecks on the ceiling tiles as she spun around lazily in Soju’s empty office chair. 

“Seriously, Brooke. No one’s using it right now, it’s a great place to relax, calm down, maybe nap a little…”

Brooke closed her eyes against the spinning, blurry images around her when she finally brought Soju’s chair to an abrupt halt. 

She probably could use an hour or two buried at the bottom of a ball-pit.

“Okay.”

She walked to the snoezelen room with Nina in silence, Nina buzzing with the energy that Brooke was already starting to let go of. Maybe if Brooke had been in a better headspace, she would have realized that something was up. 

Unfortunately, by the time she noticed what was wrong, it was too late. The door swung shut, and the only other person in the room turned around at the slam.

Vanessa, illuminated in soft purple and blue glows, projected images of stars and seas written across her skin.

“What are you-”

“I was supposed to-”

“ _ Nina.”  _ They both whispered bitterly in unison.

The next few seconds all compressed into one. Vanessa dashed for the door, jiggling its handle desperately and muttering  _ come on, work, Bertha  _ under her breath. The handle didn’t budge; they both had already known it wouldn’t. 

“You don’t have a key?” Brooke bit out, her voice layered with a sharp frustration. Vanessa shot her a dirty look.

“Yvie said she needed it for an agitated client who wouldn’t do his physio in a normal setting. She called me here to meet them cause he was supposed to see me after.” 

Brooke snorted. “And you fell for that?”

“Oh, I  _ know _ you did not just - Look, we in private now, and you best be _ lieve  _ I got some words for you, you stuck-up bi-”

“Is that really what you think of me?” Brooke didn’t mean for her voice to come out as quietly as it did, to be coated with sadness instead of rage, but the tone made Vanessa’s own anger dry up instantly.

“Brooke-”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve said that to me, Ness. Does that mean it’s true?”

Vanessa sighed and shook her head. “No, baby, it’s not. I’m just….I was just mad, I guess.”

“Yeah.” Brooke was mad too, really mad. So why did she only feel relief at Vanessa’s words?

“Look, d’you mind if I sit?” Vanessa gestured over to a heavy, amorphous beanbag chair that slumped by Brooke’s feet.

“Go ahead.” Brooke nodded. Truth be told, she kind of felt like sitting down herself - but before she could scan for the nearest comfortable surface, there was a huge  _ WHUMPF!  _ followed by a view of Vanessa becoming so engulfed by the beanbag chair that she was practically folded over into it.

“Don’t you dare.” Vanessa warned, but she was already laughing, that barking, loud laugh that was completely unignorable and absolutely contagious. 

Their laughter mixed together for a moment before they remembered where they were, and suddenly it was quiet again, the hum of the water-lights and gentle chirping of birds on a tape in the background filling in the space where words should have gone. Where they  _ needed _ to go.

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me.” Brooke slid onto the floor next to Vanessa, who suddenly seemed to sit even lower as her eyes glided away from Brooke’s own.

“I just… I wanted to surprise you, is all.” Vanessa chewed her lip, still refusing to look at Brooke. It was a gesture that annoyed Brooke, for some reason, and lit a sudden fire in her chest that she didn’t care to snuff out.

“Surprise me by telling everyone something I told you not to?” She arched an eyebrow, unable to stop the harsh edge her words took on and instantly regretting it. 

“Shit,” she softened her tone a little, laying a light hand on Vanessa’s wrist to get her attention, “Vanessa, I-”

“It was fucked up of me.” Vanessa cut her off with a shake of her head. “I just…I got so excited, Brooke. All I could think about was how it was gonna help you, and I didn’t want to add more work for you, ‘cause I see how hard you work already.”

“I’m not the only one who works hard.” Brooke blushed at the sudden praise, her heart unexpectedly warming a little when Vanessa rolled her eyes in response.

“Bitch, you always over here thinkin’ you gotta save the world by yourself, you really think I was gonna add onto your plate?” Vanessa’s voice was incredulous, almost like a mother exasperated at the mess her toddler had created. Brooke supposed the comparison was appropriate - she really  _ had _ made a bit of a mess, hadn’t she?

“I’m sorry I overstepped an’ broke your trust.” Vanessa reached over and brushed the back of Brooke’s palm with her own, and it was with a jolt that Brooke realized she was still holding onto Vanessa’s wrist.

It just felt right, somehow.

“I’m sorry I was such a pighead about the whole thing,” she admitted, shifting her hand up to grab onto Vanessa’s and giving it a reassuring squeeze as she continued, “I should’ve listened to your side of the story.”

Vanessa hummed in agreement, and they laughed again, the air in the room relaxing and warming as the tension melted away. 

“It really is a great idea, honestly. I’d love to move forward with it.” Brooke shifted again, this time moving close enough to lean her head on Vanessa’s still-trapped shoulder. 

“I’m glad.”

Then, before Brooke could say anything in response, could even think of what she could say if she  _ did  _ want to speak, Vanessa’s hand was on her chin, and her face was coming close, and her lips were coming just a little apart, oh God, she was getting so close-

When their lips finally met, Brooke let herself fall, her thoughts dissipating as she became lost in the feeling of Vanessa’s mouth on hers and the sharp, sticky scent of hand sanitizer on Vanessa’s hands. The sound of her breath getting quicker and heavier as the kiss deepened, neither woman willing to be the first to let go. 

It’s funny - Brooke used to spend what was probably far too much time dreaming of this moment. She’d obsess over every detail of how Vanessa’s eyes would flutter closed, how she might taste like the strawberry Ensure that Brooke would pretend she didn’t notice the staff stealing from A’Keria’s office on particularly long days. How her heart would quiet, and everything would suddenly make sense.

In reality, Brooke didn’t get to see Vanessa’s eyes shut, because her own eyelids had already become too heavy to keep open. Vanessa didn’t taste like strawberry Ensure - she tasted like chapstick and excitement and just a little like hand sanitizer, the ever-present chaser of every hospital employee’s lunch if they were rash enough to eat with their hands (and Vanessa was  _ always  _ rash enough to eat with her hands). And Brooke didn’t feel her heart calm, and nothing felt like it suddenly made sense.

No - it felt much, much better than that. 

When they finally parted, there was a beat, an almost painful moment where they couldn’t look at each other, couldn’t say anything - they could only giggle, as they tried to piece together what had just happened.

And then they did it again, this time even slower, even deeper, even more excited. Vanessa seemed to take on a sudden sense of bravado, her hands creeping up Brooke’s front over to her collar, closing around the fabric of her shirt and pulling her closer. Brooke let her, her heart pounding as she wrapped her arms around Vanessa’s waist, their bodies pressed up against each other so tightly that Brooke had half a mind to think that if they kept the act up, they might actually fuse together.

Not that Vanessa seemed to mind. This time, when they separated, Vanessa was breathless, her smile wide and cheeks visibly flushed even under the room’s dim, cool lighting. 

“Wow,” was all Vanessa could say.

“Wow.” Brooke agreed with a laugh. They stayed there for a few moments more, occasionally smiling, sometimes giggling, before Brooke shifted again, this time resting her head in Vanessa’s lap and letting the younger woman run her fingers through her hair. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Brooke noted quietly, closing her eyes and relaxing under Vanessa’s touch.

“I know,” Vanessa’s touch became a little heavier, yet somehow even gentler, her voice soft as she added, “I did, too.”

There wasn’t much else to say, and so they fell silent and watched the spin of the stars and seas over their heads, the giddy adrenaline of their kiss finally fading into a comfortable, cozy calm.

“Brooke.” Vanessa finally tapped Brooke on the shoulder, untangling her fingers from her hair, “Brooke. I gotta go, I got appointments to get to.”

“Oh, shit.” Brooke bolted up, the reality of where they were and what they had to do for the rest of the day crashing in and squeezing all sentimentality out of the space. 

“Okay, we’ve made up, you guys can let us out now!” she called out to the other side of the door, rolling her eyes as her request was met with nothing but a chorus of excited giggles. 

“Mm, you sure you don’t want to take advantage of the mood lighting?” Shuga’s drawl finally came from outside, “We can move your appointments, Vanjie, we don’t mind helpin’ you two catch up. And Cavi gets rid of all kinds of stains, girl!”

Brooke considered it for a moment, considered what would happen if they did choose to stay hidden away together. But before she could entertain the thought of staying shut in with Vanessa even a second longer, the smaller woman beat her to the punch.

“HOE, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DON’T LET US OUT—“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


	10. Working as a Unit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, Brooke and Vanessa's feud got to a ridiculously bad level, so their coworkers locked them in the Snoezelen room together until they kissed & made up.
> 
> This chapter, the unit gets to work on planning the fundraiser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a WHILE whew but I'm really happy with how it turned out. That being said, it wouldn't have turned out the way it did without Holtzmanns kicking my ass and being the best beta, cheerleader, and brainstorm-buddy I could ask for <3
> 
> Also, writing A'keria take on entitled old white men is my new favourite pastime

As early as the next morning, the vibe around the unit had become unrecognizable from the way it had been for what seemed like forever. It wasn’t just that things had returned to normal— because well, they hadn’t.

They’d gotten even better.

The minute that Brooke and Vanessa had been released from the Snoezelen room by their colleagues, the team hit the ground running - and there had been no stopping them since. Brooke had to admit, in a way, that she was taken by surprise by how quickly, efficiently, and effectively everyone worked. 

Sure, Ra’jah was an amazing team lead who wrangled patients and fellow nurses alike without so much as blinking, but who knew that she’d be just as fearless on the phone haggling with vendors? And Vanessa knew that Shuga spent most of her time with parents, but who knew that she’d be able to generate so many RSVPs and reach out to so many community members and partners so quickly? Or that Soju had connections with almost every major public event and performance venue in the city, making it easy for Brooke to book a space? Even A’Keria and Ariel pitched in, somehow convincing 1712’s family to cater the event with a wide menu full of nutritionally-balanced, gluten-free, allergen-free, vegetarian, vegan, halaal, and kosher options. 

In fact, Brooke actually had very little to do except sign forms, balance the budget, and get administrative clearance for the event. 

It was nice, knowing everyone had her back. Plus, it left her plenty of time for what was fast becoming her favourite hobby: watching Vanessa work.

Maybe it was the honeymoon phase, or maybe Brooke just got excited when others did. Maybe it was that Vanessa’s passion for her work really was infectious. Either way, the more Vanessa became involved with the fundraiser, the more Brooke found herself wishing that she’d known about occupational therapy sooner.

“I finished the floor plans for the booths, everything should be up to code and completely wheelchair accessible.” Vanessa beamed as she slammed a roll of blueprints down on Brooke’s desk, so giddy with excitement that she didn’t even notice that Brooke was taking a phone call. “Ain’t this great?”

It was, and Brooke had never been so eager to get off the phone to tell her so.

“I’m trying to build an adaptive dunk-tank,” Vanessa bounded up to Brooke with an excited flush across her face when she entered the office the next day, the smaller woman’s hair disheveled as if she’d been actively wrestling with prototype materials. “Can I liaise with the building maintenance and engineering staff to steal wood from them or what?” 

Brooke said yes, and not even a day later, Vanessa gave her no reason to be disappointed, a fully functional tank ready to be painted and moved out to the venue, its builder ready to accept her thanks in the form of more than one enthusiastic kiss.

In fact, the more Vanessa let Brooke into her world, the prouder Brooke became of her. After all, how many people could say that their girlfriend’s job was encouraging kids like Kam to work on reaching by practicing reaching for prize stuffed animals, or helping a kid like Monet’s fine motor skills by practicing face-painting and readying her to be Soju’s face-painting assistant?

The best part, though, was that it gave Brooke an entirely new perspective not just on Vanessa’s job, but on Vanessa herself. 

Vanessa wasn’t just compassionate--empathy came off of her in waves, her heart constantly worn on her sleeve for everyone to see from the moment she walked into the therapy gym. And she wasn’t just creative--she was resourceful, her mind fierce in its ability to look at nothing and make it into something in a few seconds flat. And even though Vanessa could be stubborn, even though she could be a bulldozing pain in the ass when an idea came into her head that she just couldn’t let go of, Brooke came to realize that Vanessa only ever brought her claws out to protect the people she loved.

Brooke really could see why everyone so dearly loved Vanessa right back. She could only hope that others would love her like that one day, too.

As the day of the fundraiser crawled closer, Brooke couldn’t help but feel like the unit was growing stronger and stronger every day with every task that got checked off their to-do list. The adrenaline was starting to get to her and Vanessa too, making them get even bolder, even closer than ever. It was as if their brains had become synced over late-night planning sessions with more than a few kisses shared between pages of blueprints. 

“Brooke, that’s it.” Vanessa collapsed back into Brooke’s desk chair two days before the fundraiser, her whole body going slack as she relaxed into the obus-forme backrest she had insisted Brooke add onto its surface ( _ “trust me, baby, it’ll prevent lower back pain in the long run” _ ). “That was the last form. We ain’t got nothing left to do. We’re finished.”

Brooke looked over to the papers on her desk, scanning for any plan left unexamined, any to-do list item left unchecked, any  _ i _ left undotted or  _ t _ left uncrossed. Vanessa was right - she couldn’t find anything of the sort.

They were done. The event planning was finally finished.

“I can’t believe it.” Brooke laughed, sighing with relief. “One day ahead of schedule, too. Oh my God.”

Vanessa moved out of Brooke’s chair and gestured for Brooke to take her place. “I’m proud of you, baby.” She climbed up onto Brooke’s lap, running her fingers through Brooke’s hair. Brooke hummed as she melted back into the chair’s cushioned surface, melted into the smooth, gentle feeling of Vanessa’s hands against her scalp.

“All we have to do now is keep everything running smoothly.” she sighed contentedly. It was interesting--a few months ago, she was confident that everything had come together, that she’d finally fit as a piece in the unit’s puzzle.

Now, though, watching everyone work together so eagerly, so  _ seamlessly _ , it was like a whole different vibe. They weren’t pieces making a picture anymore; they were the picture right off the box, the picture everyone else tried to make.

And the most satisfying part was, none of it was Brooke’s doing, not really. Not individually, at least.

It was  _ everyone _ who made that possible. And they did it without even trying.

“What do you say I drive you home, baby?” Vanessa’s voice roused Brooke from the dozing state she had begun to slip into, the smaller woman’s hands still keeping time as they stroked through Brooke’s hair, “I think you’ve earned a good night’s sleep.”

Brooke yawned, a slow, milky sense of fatigue finally overtaking her as her face smoothed over into a peaceful smile.

“Sounds good to me.”

\--

The shift in energy around the unit the next day was unmistakable.  The air was giddy with excitement, and one could barely turn a corner in the hallway without hearing  _ fundraiser _ or  _ carnival  _ fall from someone’s lips. 

Volunteers asked each other if they were going to go, trading stories of what they were most excited about and whether or not they were manning a booth. Parents chatted excitedly about how they couldn’t wait and how it would be a nice break. Kids called their friends to make plans for getting together, many of them practically bursting with happiness at the thought of doing something that didn’t have the word  _ therapy _ attached, something they could invite everyone outside the hospital to do with them. 

The vibe was also leaking to other parts of the hospital. Volunteers passed out tickets to early-bird RSVPs and sold last-minute pre-entry in the lobby, and inpatients and outpatients alike spotted the flyers and caught wind of the talk, resolving to go to themselves in support of the kids. 

The most palpable change, though, was in the staff. When Brooke walked into the unit that morning, everyone was crowded around Plastique’s desk with a large tray of cupcakes, already celebrating their success. When Brooke had started at Charles-Visage, she probably would have popped a lung yelling for their waste of time, resources, and disrespect for hospital policy. Now, though, she took a cupcake from the tray, her eyes fluttering closed in pleasure when the rich taste of dark chocolate frosting melted onto her tongue.

They hadn’t even done it yet, technically, but they’d done it.

No matter how tomorrow worked out, Brooke was sure that in many other ways, they’d already won.

“Am I interrupting something, ladies?” A sneering voice suddenly burst the team out of their happy bubble, all of them turning to see a tall, older man in a neatly-pressed business suit standing behind them with his arms crossed, a half-crushed fundraiser flyer in his hand.

“Gary.” Brooke nodded curtly, a hush falling over the group as tension set in. 

“No, no, please, continue, don’t let me stop this, hm,  _ fun _ you all seem to love up here.” He sniffed derisively. “Enjoy it while it lasts, since apparently, it’s not going to last long.”

“Now, hold on, Geoffrey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Ra’jah challenged from behind Brooke, hand already on her hip. “You’re holding one of our flyers, you’ve clearly seen it.” 

Gary, for his part, seemed nonplussed, though the twitch in his eye at being called Geoffrey was unmistakable. “I don’t know, girls, it just seems a bit, you know,  _ desperate. _ ”

This time, Brooke didn’t have to bristle at the condescension--everyone behind her was already doing so. 

“What do you mean, desperate?” She rolled her eyes as she said it.

“Well, I mean, we at high intensity outpatient never have to do this. Besides, it’ll never work.” he scoffed.

“Never work? What kinda nonsense you talkin’, Garfield?” Silky snorted, barely stifling her smile as Gary’s eye twitched again.

“A lump sum like a donation can only go so far. Eventually, the funds you raise will dry up, and by then, all you’ll have done is raised funds for a service that’s going under anyway. A waste of time and resources.” He shrugged. 

If Brooke hadn’t been so seethingly mad, she would have been impressed at his ability to be staring fifteen grown women in the face and speaking to them all like children instead of like the educated professionals that treated them. But before Brooke could so much as think of something to spit back at him, he turned to her with an almost completely contemptful smile. 

“Really, Miss Hytes, I would have thought you would understand finances a little better, given your position. Although, I suppose a bunch of kids wouldn’t notice inexperience, would they?” 

That was it. Brooke felt something else take over her; her head began to spin and rage rose in her throat, indignation bubbling on her tongue. Her team?  _ Inexperienced? _

Not Yvie, who had been hired straight out of her placement because she’d achieved top marks and had made such a good impression on all the staff there. Not Plastique, who had everything Brooke needed done before Brooke even realized it was a task that was still outstanding. Certainly not Shuga, who had over twenty years to generate a mile-long resume that she kept as a record of all the different experiences she’d had, all the lessons she’d learned and brought to the unit in her present practice. How dare he, how fucking  _ dare _ he. 

She was just about to tear Gary a new one, when she noticed his gaze. He was only looking at Brooke, his eyes full of contempt and something dangerously near some kind of put-on pity.

He wasn’t talking about the team.

He was talking specifically about her. 

This wasn’t the first time Brooke had been underestimated. It wasn’t the first time her efforts or her achievements had been discounted. It more than likely wouldn’t be the last, either. She was used to it--used to rising above it, used to showing rather than telling, used to proving her adversaries wrong and making them eat their own words. To watching them squirm and letting their discomfort be her victory prize.

But apparently the team took a different approach.

“Sorry, Gabriel, who the  _ flipper  _ do you think you’re flipping talking to?” Scarlet shouldered her way to the front of the group, standing practically right in Gary’s face. “There’s no one inexperienced here.”

“That’s right,” Honey spoke up, coming to stand right behind Scarlet, “Brooke is the best manager we’ve ever had, and I dare you to say anything different.”

“Well, in that case, I feel sorry for--” but Gary didn’t have a chance to finish the sentence before A’keria was in his face, her short stature suddenly stretched to about six feet just by virtue of the threat in her posture and edge to her words.

“You ain’t feel sorry for nothing or nobody. You think you’re oh-so-mighty, well let me tell you somethin’, Mr Gregory, at least here, we ain’t gotta rely on our daddy’s name to get our positions. Brooke ain’t no exception to that.” She began to walk forwards, effectively forcing Gary back a step with each word. 

“Brooke works harder than anyone else in this hospital, and ever since she been here, we been doing better than ever. Now I know we ain’t no rich people’s playground, but what do you wanna bet that if we pulled up the numbers, we’d see an exponential growth here, while you sittin’ pretty at half a billion but been in a plateau there for ten years?” She takes a step closer. “‘Cause we got your number, Gordon, and it ain’t a good one. Brooke is a better manager than you’ll ever be, and if you want to see it for yourself, tickets to the fundraiser are ten dollars each. Now get the flunk out of our unit.”

“ _ Reginald. _ ” Gary growled in correction, but before he could say anything else, there were the sounds of wheels rolling fast on the ground, followed by the tell-tale squealing of a five-year-old having the time of her life and the loud protests of a grown occupational therapist who wasn’t supposed to be running a scooterboard race in the inpatient hallway.

This time, when Gary went down, Ra’jah had nothing to say about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!! ^_^


	11. Deeper Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter: Brooke and the others get ready for the fundraiser and smack Gary tf down
> 
> This chapter: the fundraiser is finally here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from THAT song from THAT lipsync. Sue me. 
> 
> Thank you holtzmanns for being the best beta and all-around pal a binch could have <3

The first thing Vanessa noticed when she walked into the venue space on the day of the fundraiser is that the stations had been changed. 

“Concessions? Nina, what do you mean, concessions, I was supposed to be on lost child duty.” Vanessa frowned when she looked up at the list and map that Nina had drawn for the day and put up towards the front of the hall they’ve rented out.

But Nina just shrugged. “The volunteers can handle it.” As she said it, Vanessa took a second look at the list, and the sudden switch made perfect sense.

“We already together, Nina, you ain’t need to put me with Brooke for everything.” Vanessa rolled her eyes, but Nina was already walking away towards the next concern, a shit-eating grin on her face.

God, Vanessa loved that sneaky bitch.

She looked up where the concession was set up on the map and headed over. Vanessa was pleased to find that it was towards the middle and side of the room, supplying a fantastic view of the goings-on around the venue. The fundraiser wasn’t opening for another hour, but the room was buzzing with people, volunteers, staff members and the youth advisory council members already setting up equipment, walking through their duties for the day, and completing any other of the millions of small tasks that popped up as opening time ticked closer and closer. The room was bursting with colour, streamers and balloons lighting up every wall and corner until all Vanessa could see was rainbows, bright blues and purples and yellows that eagerly welcomed guests inside. There was a giant stage towards the back of the room set up with raffle prizes and a microphone, and the floor was crawling with game tables and booths, each decorated with big, bright signs clearly indicating what they were offering. More active games like life-sized tic-tac-toe and adaptive bocce took up the centre of the room, and Vanessa was all too excited at the thought of kids gathering there to play and move around.

The most beautiful sight, though, was Brooke in a Charles-Visage Hospital t-shirt scooping popcorn seeds into their rented kettle, a giant popcorn-shaped hat on her head.

“Laugh it up all you want,” Brooke narrowed her eyes as Vanessa practically screamed with laughter, drawing the attention of pretty much everyone in the hall. “Wait until see the hat they’ve left for you.”

In retrospect, having to wear a giant wiener on her head was definitely, objectively worse. 

The minutes kept ticking by closer and closer to opening as everyone scrambled to finish their set-ups, fussing over little details and cursing themselves for forgetting big but integral tasks. For the most part, Vanessa managed to tune out the noise, clinging to the rhythm of concession prep to keep herself calm. Brooke, for her part, was cheerful and enthusiastic, chattering about how she used to work at Kernels and how they never used to get to wear gloves when they were working, how her manicure had been saved—Vanessa listened to it all gladly, grateful for the distraction in the form of the woman next to her.

Only Brooke wasn’t  _ trying  _ to be distracting, not really—this was just Brooke when she was happy, and somehow, seeing her girlfriend get so excited only made Vanessa that much more calm, that much more happy herself.

All too soon, the rush died down, and there was silence in the hall, everyone holding their breath as they counted down the two minutes remaining until opening. 

“This is amazing, Ness.” Brooke grabbed Vanessa’s hand and squeezed gently. “You’ve done a great job.”

It was only then that Vanessa noticed that she had been shaking.

“I just… I really want this to work, you know?” Vanessa sighed, chewing her lip. Brooke nodded.

“I just don’t think I could handle it if we did all this and still went under. I mean, all these families an’ kids… they got hope, Brooke. We gave it to ‘em. An’ I don’t want that all crushed thanks to a dumb idea you humoured for me.” 

“It’s not a dumb idea, and I didn’t humour you--I think it’ll save us.” Brooke’s voice was adamant and matter-of-fact, her eyes serious, but the conviction did nothing to reassure Vanessa, not really.

It didn’t matter if Brooke had faith in her; when it came down to it, whether or not this was enough was still out of their control. And if it wasn’t, what would happen? The unit would get major cuts, if not dissolve completely, and sure, she’d probably land on her feet, but what was the point? There was no laughter in the adult units. No water-toys or impromptu in-session tricycle parades when your clients were thirty and stressed and just looking to get home, not to have the joy of home brought to them and make the best out of a less-than-ideal situation. Even outpatient didn’t have the same vibe; in outpatient, the kids didn’t all know each other and band together, and neither did the staff - you knew who you worked with, and everyone else was peripheral. And if she didn’t get kept by the hospital, what was Vanessa supposed to do then? Move to another hospital, another district, another city? Spend the rest of her career in the community? She cringed just thinking about driving from house, navigating client caps and never seeing another adult unless it was a client or the parent of one.

And what would happen to her and Brooke? Brooke would blame herself, for sure. Say that she underestimated some costs, overestimated returns, whatever kind of business mumbo-jumbo could come to her mind. Heck, knowing Brooke, she’d go as far as to blame the way she scooped out popcorn or some shit, anything she could to explain why they failed, anything she could to take the burden of falling short off the team. And then she’d be gone, whether or not the unit stayed open, because that’s what Brooke did. Blamed herself, told herself she was a burden, and then ran. 

Vanessa couldn’t let that happen. She  _ wouldn’t  _ let that happen. This had to work. It had to.

“Hey,” Brooke broke Vanessa’s daze, cupping her cheek with a soft, gentle hand. “Hey. It’s okay, Ness. It’s okay. We’re gonna do great today. I believe in you. And…” She bit her lip, shifting on her feet. Somewhere in the room, Silky called out a one-minute warning. Brooke wrapped Vanessa into a hug.

“I love you.”

Thirty seconds.

Vanessa couldn’t think any more.

“OPENING TIME!” 

Before she could say anything else, the doors open, and a flood of people rushed through.

\--

“Can I have everyone’s attention? CAN I HAVE EVERYONE’S ATTENTION PLEASE?” Nina shouted into the mic, raising her voice above the roar of the crowd. The fundraiser was drawing close but the energy of the attendees had barely diminished, kids and adults alike still coming through the doors to ask for whatever last-minute, $15-at-the-door tickets they had left. The concession stand had long been stripped empty, everyone who could eat rushing by to trade loonies for every type of snack they had on offer, and so Brooke and Vanessa had shed their hats and begun to run around to help out at the other booths. Still, they were only just getting to the main event, the grand finale everyone was waiting for.

“Thank you so much for coming out today, everyone.” Nina was practically beaming as the noise died down, all eyes on her. “I just wanted to say that I am truly touched by how many of you came to support the kids at Charles-Visage, and how much all of your generosity and enthusiasm has helped. Thanks to your tickets, raffle ticket, and donation-box offerings, we have raised a whopping $10,000. And that’s  _ before _ we add everything up from concession!” Nina smiled and waved over at Brooke and Vanessa, who had rushed quickly back to their booth solely for this announcement and their moment of cameo-glory in it. 

“I also want to say that we have amassed over one hundred new monthly donors, which is fantastic!” Nina continued, her cheeks going pink with excitement as she did. “And also, I want to thank the members of the media who came out today, getting our message of fun, inclusion, and hope out to folks everywhere! So everyone at home, be sure to check out the hospital’s website and click that donate button!” 

It was just then that Vanessa noticed a host of newspeople in the back, journalists with paper pads and cameras around their neck and broadcasters holding mics out to hear all of Nina’s announcement. 

Jesus Christ--the PR would be fucking  _ fantastic _ , and Vanessa hadn’t even known that people would be interested in hearing about them. And she certainly hadn’t called the news outlets.

Brooke grinned at Vanessa, and her surprise turned into outright affection, lunging forward for a hug to thank her girlfriend for the amazing surprise.

“Thanks to everyone’s contributions,” Nina kept going, her voice now shaking with glee, “We not only have raised enough to help out kids with disabilities all over the area make strides towards achieving all their potential, we have also raised enough to welcome even  _ more _ kids into the Charles-Visage community. That’s right, everyone--thanks to your generosity, our unit will be able to expand!”

The cheers were absolutely deafening, and Vanessa felt like she was absolutely floating on air.

She had done it.  _ They  _ had done it.

They’d won.

Vanessa still wasn’t really sure what happened next. Nina went on to announce the raffle winners, but Vanessa could barely hear her, could barely register anything at all. Everything was joy, excitement, pride, and Brooke. Brooke, extending a hug towards Vanessa and pulling her in for a long, giddy kiss. Brooke, whispering another  _ I’m proud of you _ as they pulled apart. Brooke, chewing her lip as she bit back what Vanessa could guess was another  _ I love you _ , something she was afraid that Vanessa didn’t want to hear a second time.

So Vanessa said it first, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“I love you too, baby. And I can’t thank you enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!!!
> 
> Next chapter will be a smutty epilogue, 'cause I know y'all were all waiting for it ;)


	12. Playing Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, the fundraiser happened, the unit was saved, and Brooke and Vanessa said I love you!
> 
> This chapter, they celebrate. With sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU HOLTZMANNS FOR BETA-ING
> 
> Y'all can you BELIEVE it's the end of free falling??? And I marked it by writing something VANILLA? WILD. Thank you all for your feedback and positivity with this story, I am so happy so many of you liked it. Rehab is something I'm intensely passionate about and I'm so happy that love for it was able to translate onto these two dumb nerds and make something beautiful with it. So thanks guys, for reading and encouraging me <3

That night, the entire unit celebrated the success of the fundraiser at Brooke’s house. Vanessa had to give it to Brooke; she was a pretty excellent host. She must have known that people were coming, too, because Vanessa couldn’t imagine Brooke eating pâté and fine cheese every day.

When Scarlet said she could see exactly that, Vanessa kept to herself that she’d spent enough time with Brooke to know that most nights she ordered in Swiss Chalet or just lived off of maltesers and pre-mixed cocktails. 

No one could say Vanessa wasn’t a  _ fantastic  _ girlfriend. 

The excitement continued well into the night, everyone chatting and laughing and finally  _ breathing _ , the first time in weeks that they felt like they could finally relax. Still, many of the nurses had Sunday shifts the next day, and so left early, and after that, one by one, folks began to leave.

Finally, it was just Vanessa and Brooke left sitting in the living room with empty glasses of champagne and the remnants of a fruit plate, the air no longer filled with anything but quiet.

“Should I get going, or—“ Vanessa was cut off by a hand on her wrist, and she looked up to see Brooke shaking her head, a soft smile on her face.

“I wanna congratulate you properly, baby.”

Vanessa needed no further cue to pull Brooke in and bring their lips together. They kissed hungrily, sloppily, as if someone might come and stop them at any second. But no one did, so they kept going, Brooke’s hands pressing Vanessa up against her body and Vanessa’s hands roaming down to cup Brooke’s ass.

“We should probably go upstairs.” Vanessa kissed and licked along Brooke’s neck, a shiver going through her entire body when Brooke let out a soft, barely audible  _ oh  _ at the sensation. 

“Way ahead of you.” Before Vanessa could ask what Brooke meant, she felt one of Brooke’s hands fall from her waist to just below her ass and the other come up to her back, and then she was in the air, her body pressed against Brooke’s and butterflies quickly turning to anxiety as Brooke teetered forward to bring her upstairs.

“You know you could’ve just asked me to go, right?” Vanessa deadpanned.

“I thought this was romantic.” Brooke grunted.

“Right.” Vanessa smirked, making no effort to move as Brooke looked down to strategize as to how to get up onto the first step. “And how’s that working out for you?”

“I literally don’t know how you do this all day, Ness.”

“We use lifts is how.” Vanessa laughed, tapping Brooke’s arm to signal for the taller woman to let go, which she did gladly.

“Now come on, let’s go upstairs.” 

They were so giggly and rushed when they reached the second floor, that it almost felt like high school again. As if Vanessa was craning up to kiss the star of the girl’s basketball team, the two of them rushing to shed their clothes in the music room lest anyone else from band find them, the excitement of something forbidden drawing them ever closer. Only they weren’t seventeen anymore, and there was no rush except for the one they were imposing on themselves. It felt like all sense of impulse control was gone between them as they ran their hands over each other’s bodies, savouring all the parts of the other that they loved best.

Vanessa let Brooke strip away her clothing, her own hands clamouring at Brooke’s top and jeans in turn, until they collapsed on the bed in a fit of giggles in nothing but their underwear, still kissing and stroking and grabbing anything they could reach. 

“I love you.” Brooke whispered against Vanessa’s collarbone.

“I love you too.” Vanessa grinned as she traced her fingers down to Brooke’s waist. 

“Can I take the rest of this off?” Brooke straightened up, hands already reaching around to her back to unhook her own bra.  _ Show off.  _ Vanessa nodded, in turn slipping her own bra straps down and turning her bra around so that she could see the clasps. 

“I still think it’s adorable that you, the OT here, have to do that.” Brooke mused as she threw her bra aside, making quick work of her panties and throwing those onto the floor too.

Vanessa rolled her eyes, letting Brooke continue to laugh a little before suddenly springing up and tackling her, tickling and kissing and letting out laughs of her own as Brooke began to squeal. They calmed down soon enough though, and then they were kissing again, the world around them melting away as Brooke sat up and Vanessa settled on her lap, straddling her and circling her hips just slightly as they continued to slot their lips together, biting and licking at an increasingly slower, more languid pace.

“Can I eat you out, baby?” Brooke kissed up to Vanessa’s jawline, reaching the spot just below Vanessa’s ear. Vanessa nodded eagerly.

“Please, honey.” Vanessa was breathless, only to let out a grunt of surprise a moment later when Brooke flipped them both so that Vanessa was on her back, Brooke kneeling over her in four-point position. 

Brooke kissed down Vanessa’s body, taking the time to show a little extra devotion to all the spots that she’d learned Vanessa was extra-sensitive in. By the time she reached Vanessa’s hips, Vanessa was a whining mess, squirming and dripping and muttering begging pleas for Brooke to  _ just hurry up, please, hurry up already. _

Brooke didn’t hurry up; in fact, she skipped over Vanessa’s cunt altogether, instead going to nip and suck at her thighs, leaving soft red spots in her wake. 

“Brooke, I swear to God, if you don’t--” Vanessa finally found her voice, but it was taken away with her breath as soon as it had come when Brooke finally dove onto where Vanessa needed it most. Before Vanessa could relax into Brooke’s movements, though, the blonde suddenly pulled back, letting out only the softest flicks of the very tip of her tongue against Vanessa’s pussy, just below her clit. Vanessa whined, and Brooke responded by trading out the soft licks for sucking kisses all over Vanessa’s cunt, slowly and finally reaching up to Vanessa’s clit. 

“ _ Fuck _ , Brooke, yes, just like that.” Brooke lapped and sucked at Vanessa’s clit relentlessly, circling it with her tongue and humming against it while Vanessa keened into her. One of her hands gripped the bedsheets underneath and the other knotted itself in Brooke’s hair, pulling a little the way she knew Brooke liked. Brooke moaned at the sensation, and the vibrations of the sound sent a shiver through Vanessa’s entire body. The message was already received, though--Brooke began to speed up, continuing to lick and suck at an increasing rate until Vanessa was screaming Brooke’s name, her vision blurring over as she came hard into her girlfriend’s mouth. Her head was still spinning when Brooke resurfaced, their mouths coming together for Vanessa to eagerly lick the taste of herself off of Brooke’s lips. 

“How do you want me to fuck you now, baby?” Vanessa whispered against Brooke’s skin, easing the older woman down next to her and snaking a hand between her pale legs to cup the outer lips of her pussy. “Want my fingers? Hm?” She smirked when Brooke whined in response, and was unable to resist teasing, “Come on, baby, use your words.”

“Both.” Brooke panted as Vanessa began to massage the flesh of her pussy, her touch firm and slow. “Please, want both.” So Vanessa gave Brooke both, easily parting her legs and settling between them to lick and kiss at her wetness. Brooke had always been an incredibly responsive partner, and that night was no different, her moans and the tremors rising in her legs providing an excellent guide for Vanessa as to what to do and how to best do it. Finally, when Brooke was nearing the edge, Vanessa brought a finger up to Brooke’s entrance, humming as she traced it lazily around Brooke’s hole, as if she was really trying to think whether Brooke deserved it or not.

Brooke’s begging was enough to sway Vanessa, who plunged her finger in, then added a second, continuing to hum and moan up against Brooke’s clit and listening to her make similar sounds in return. 

“Fuck yourself up against my fingers, baby, there, that’s it.” Vanessa whispered into Brooke’s skin, peeling away just a little bit and watching with glee as the loss of contact caused the tremors in Brooke’s body to intensify. Nonetheless, Brooke obliged, thrusting back into Vanessa’s hand as she pumped her fingers in and out, put her mouth back onto Brooke’s clit, both sets of movements working in harmony until Brooke finally came, Vanessa’s name mixed with words that they would never have been allowed to say at work screamed out into the room until Brooke’s voice went hoarse. 

“Have I mentioned I love you?” Brooke laughed, covering her face with her hands, as Vanessa crawled up to join her laying down on the bed, both of them spent and still gasping for breath.

“Haven’t stopped tellin’ me since this afternoon.” Vanessa responded cheekily, squealing when Brooke reached out a hand and swatted her playfully in response. 

“Miss Brooke!” Vanessa gasped in mock indignance, “Is that really how you wanna treat your boo?” 

“If it’s what she deserves.” Brooke shrugged, grinning. Vanessa laughed.

“Alright, bitch, you got me there. I love you too, sweetheart.” Vanessa rolled her eyes, but the words were genuine, as was the kiss she planted on Brooke’s cheek as she pulled her just a little closer.

“Say, you got any of that bougie-ass brie left?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-shot coming next!! If I can ever get it done lmao rip


End file.
